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How do I let him down gently?

I went on 2 dates with this guy. He was very nice and we do have stuff in common, but he's just not my type. And I'm not talking about physically. I mean I'm a country, borderline hillbilly girl, and he's a prissier downtown guy. I just wanted to politely decline next time he asked me out, and let it go at that, but then today he sent me flowers and with a card saying what a nice time he had with me and how he wants to see me again.

Seriously, it's sad when you see a flower delivery box with your favorite flowers sitting in front of your door and feel nothing but dread that you have to turn this sweet man down.

I just feel no chemistry and I don't want to pursue it. How do I let him down gently?


Asked by Pudge_Pie20 at 9:14 PM on Sep. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (623 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • If you really have to let him down (he sounds like a winner to me, but I understand), then ask to meet him in the park or coffee shop and tell him that you are not feeling any chemistry and so must go your separate ways. I had a guy that liked me and sent flowers and was a nice guy, but I really felt nothing at all for him and was clumsy about letting him down. I guess the thing to do is to think if the shoe were on the other foot and you were the one being let down, what approach would make you feel best. Perhaps tell him that he's not for you but that he is a great guy and you are sure that he'll find someone who thinks he is exactly what she is looking for. .... maybe. Telling him face to face is better than calling or writing- which is where I went wrong. And a park lets him walk off without embarrassment.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:20 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • I would just tell him you feel things are going too fast and that it isnt a good time for a relationship right now.

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 9:15 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • You haven't really had time to "feel" any chemistry. Gee, give it a chance, you might like him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • yeah I was gonna say give it a chance. you two might be able to teach each other a lot. what do you really have to lose unless you've got a line of guys waiting to take you out.

    Answer by treynlisa at 9:22 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Tell him in person and do it now. Do not go out on anymore dates with him.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:30 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Just tell him it's not working for you. Nothing else to say

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:32 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Tell him that you like him but want to take it very slow and remain friends, just be honest, tell him you don't feel the chemistry or spark that it takes to make a relationship. Tell him (if you want) that you would like to see him but only as friends and nothing physical...
    maybe when you get to know him there will be something there
    good guys like that are hard to come by
    I'm not a prissy kind of guy either and those kind of guys don't exactly "hit the spot" I guess but when I think about the guys I have dated and had a relationship with they reallly went no where in the long run... idk... think about tho?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Sep. 9, 2009

  • Can I date him? I can't seem to find a good guy who will treat me good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Sep. 10, 2009