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What would you do?

My ex, my 1st daughters father, is going through a rough patch. His gf just broke up with him and kicked him out. He doesnt yet have a place to live. For the record he did nothing wrong to her it was just a breakup that was bound to happen sooner or later. When he was with her he rarely talked to me. Until a little over a month ago we hadnt talked at all because his gf didnt want him to contact me. Hes talked to his daughter but for awhile had limited contact with her too. Before all this me and him had a great friendship since we broke up in 2005 until 2008. Now hes talking to me more often saying I'm his only friend(which is true at this point) and I feel bad and feel I should be supportive. Hes not asking me for anything, just someone to talk to right now. Im in a new relationship and have a 1 y/o now as well. My current bf and ex do not get along. How should I act with my ex?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:53 AM on Sep. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • i think you should still be supportive of him i mean after all he is your kids father....and your current b/f should understand the situation....

    Answer by SPC.armywife at 5:15 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Maybe you could let your spouse know that you want to keep your relationship with your ex as cordial as possible, dont plan on being with him, but want a positive relationship for the sake of your daughter. I think that you talking to you daughters father and trying to be as positive and supportive as possible will truely benefit your daughter the most. I think that it is great that he is out of the relationship he was in since it was keeping him from being close to his daughter. If your new bf can put aside his feelings to understand that this is a good thing for your daughter, this will probably turn out great. I wish you the best.

    Answer by BeautyBaby at 5:45 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I completely agree with BeautyBaby. You need to have a good relationship with the ex for your daughter's sake, and the two men should be able to put aside their feelings for the sake of the child if they truly care about her. Just make it clear to your boyfriend that you are not looking to get back together with your ex, but that he needs a friend, and that for your daughter's sake, you want to be there for him. Not that it's really relevant here, but why don't they get along? Is it something that you could sit them down and see if it could be worked out so that even if they aren't friends, they could maybe be nice to each other? Just a thought.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:45 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • The way he acted towards you when he was with his EX. Only talk to him about your child his DD.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:31 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • He needs to get his own life and quit using you as a crutch.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:44 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I've been through that, and trust me u do not want to go there. It will possibly turn into more than him just wanting "someone to talk to" ..I had to stop letting my DD father come around ..he just made everything worse with my husband and I. Good luck!

    Answer by mcdthree at 10:46 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I think it's great that you two are getting along, but I think you should have respect for your bf and not get too close wih your ex. You need to establish what is ok and what is not with your current boyfriend. Not that you need permission but it really isn't fair to your bf for you to become best friends with your ex just because he needs someone to talk to all of the sudden. He is the father of your child but is he worth jeapordizing your current relationship over? Hopefully you can find common grounds here and make everyone happy without upsetting anyone

    Answer by Mommy0425 at 10:11 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • op here- in the past when we first broke up we both were in other relationships and still close. I was cool with his gf at the time and he got along with my bf at the time. We are both capable of being just friends without it getting weird or getting further than that. My only concern is my current s/o and him getting along. They have never gotten along because my s/o didnt understand my friendship with him and they've exchanged words that they shouldnt have. Things never got physical and that happened at the beginning of my relationship with my s/o. Im hoping things will work out eventually between them and I did explain to my ex that when he does see my s/o again they need to get along for everyones sake.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

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