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why is it so hard for ex husbands to do the right thing?

it has been 4 yrs since he has seen my kids the are 12 and 13. and now that he has visits back all he and his wife does is turn my daughter against me. they have other people call here and tell her her father is over there and see if she can sleep over but dont tell me hes there. wtf? have my daughter lie to me. and then his wife constintly calling here making trouble. she is always telling my daughter how she is going to buy her this and that and everything she wants. having a relationship with my daughter is one thing but turning her against me is another. they bribe her for everything. and then she thinks i will do it. i try to do the right thing but all they do is turn her against me. they dont try with my son cuz it dont work on him. she is disturbed in school. i got a call yesterday. i know this was going to happen again. he can never do whats right.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Sep. 10, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • Why don't ex-wives do the right thing? Why do they keep their children away from their father, even though he pays child support, picked them up when he is supposed to, even on mothers day?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Do not change the way you are raising your children. IMO If the step mom calls do not let her talk to your DD. It is not her place to be doing that. I would not let her pick the kids up either. Only your EX should be dealing with the kids. What happens over at his(Your EX) house, you can not do anything about that. Just do not let what they (your EX and his wife) are doing change the way you are with your kids.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:28 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I wont change the way i am raising my kids. he knows the right thing to do but refuses to do it. i dont get it. all i ever want is for him to do the right thing and stop useing the kids its not right. the crap he has put them through and still does it. everything the magistraite wrote up he has gone against and all we do is keep giving him chances to make it right. i cant keep doing this cuz my kids are getting hurt in the middle and thats not right. and for his wife we already said she is to stop calling no more cuz she is cuasing problems. i dont understand why its so hard to do the right thing without hurting the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Anon-10:27 its not just some fathers that don t do the right thing its some mothers to. but in my case its the father. and all i do is try to get him to do the right thing and give him chances. i could have stopped visits again a few weeks ago but no instead my attorney wrote a letter for him to stop twice and still he hasnt, he pulled more crap this past weekend and its not right cuz my kids are getting hurt in the middle. im sorry your husbands kids are going through stuff to. but like i been saying its sad cuz to many kids are going through this and the parents need to work together and in my case im trying but he still continues to try and pin my kids against me. its along story to right. the magistraite even called my ex an ahole 3 times. so the courts even know how wrong he is. its sad
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • its not hard for all ex husbands. My brother is an ex husband and the best man I know (aside from my hubby) Im sorry your ex is a dunce but not all are.
    LuminousMom

    Answer by LuminousMom at 8:21 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Stop pushing the ex to do anything he doesn't want to. You cannot force someone to do the right thing or be a parent. Your kids will figure it out as they grow older. Right now, they are trying to please 2 parents that aren't together. Do NOT let them go with anyone but their father, if someone calls tell them that their father needs to call you and ask for permission and no one else is getting the kids. Plain and simple. Document everything the ex and or his "friends" do; dates, times, what happened, who did what. IT may not be admissable in court but it will show a pattern of behavior.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:17 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • My ex husband did the same thing to our son, then when he had visits, he'd go 6 months to a year before seeing our son. He made so many empty promises. Our son is now 18, & because I did the right thing, & didn't act like his father, didn't bad mouth him or anything, our son resents his father, & wants nothing to do with him, because of the way he treated him & I while he was growing up. He was 1 very confused little boy when it was going on though, & it was so hard for me not to bad mouth him in front of him, but I didn't, & my son saw for himself what he's truly like.
    Mom2tasb1

    Answer by Mom2tasb1 at 1:58 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

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