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First night home with the baby... I need comfort and help, it's bad. (contd)

I could cry I'm so tired. The doc said to only feed her 2 oz every 4 hours but she wants more than that. How can I tell my poor little girl no?? But I do because they said it would give her diabetes (no history in either family...) so I have to let her cry and cry til her next feeding. Finally last night we gave her my breast (she hasnt been able to latch, and once she does she gives up after a few sucks.) I feel like a failure as a mom. I ended up having to have a csection, I can't breast feed her because of my nipples (they're too flat) I can't do a whole lot for her because of the healing. I can't even make it to the bathroom in time. I can't stop crying. I'm scared I have postpardum (sp?) because I just cry at everything. I'm not even sad. Idk. I'm crying now. I don't want to cry and I don't want to be crippled. And I want to be able to comfort my poor little girl. I love her so much and I'm so happy but then theres this.

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gottalovemal

Asked by gottalovemal at 11:27 AM on Sep. 10, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 17 (3,311 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • her daddy does so much 4 her and I feel so bad, he tells me he doesn't mind but I just feel so useless. I've lost my confidence with her I was so great about doing things for her when I was in the hospital but idk what happened. Idk what to do.
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 11:30 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • feed the baby as much as she wants if she's hungry... how old is she? my ds wast aking 3 oz when he was a week old, every 2 hours, the doc sounds like a moron to me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • First off feed the child, then feed yourself. Then sit down and have a good cry, then wash your face. Not breast feeding isn't a crime, you tried, its not working *hugs* believe it or not, there are pluses to bottle feeding as well, and if you really want to give her some of your milk, pump and mix it with the formula if there isn't enough. I am guessing nobody told you about the emotional crash after you give birth and the hormones go away? Its perfectly normal. In a week or two you will be a pro at handling everything, even if you can't move around a lot still. Gl and we are here for you :)
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 11:34 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • First of all, you are not a failure, and you might just have whats called Baby Blues, which is the hormones releasing from havig a baby. Your body just went through the birth, and having all those hormones build up from caring for the baby in the womb, and all of a sudden its gone, its making your body spyrial. You will be fine, and don't worry if you cannot breastfeed; I tried so hard with mine and I just didnt make enough milk. You cant dwell on what you cant do, see what you CAN do. Do your best, and you will have plenty of time with your lil one before she goes to prom, dont worry. In the meantime, get someone to help you ....good luck and many hugs to you!
    babygirlpj2007

    Answer by babygirlpj2007 at 11:35 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I hate to tell you something against drs orders, but if she's hungry then feed her more. Four hours is a LONG time for a newborn. Most feed every 2-3 hours.
    Don't feel bad about your husband helping out. That's what he's there for and he needs to spend time with the baby too - you just had surgery and need to make sure you take it easy. If you don't get the rest you need to heal properly then you won't be any good for your husband or your baby.
    The first few days home were always the most emotional for me. It's almost like I was running on adrenaline in the hospital and then I would get home and "crash." It's not just you and it may not turn into full blown postpartum. Give yourself a few days to adjust.
    I assure you, your baby already loves you. You're going to be a great mom - it just takes a few days. We're all here for any questions you have.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:35 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Feed on demand, don't worry about not breast feeding, just give her the bottle when she wants it and just be sure to burp her frequently. Sit in a comfy chair, let the world go by and hold her close and feed her. Your going through so many hormonal changes, crying is normal. So if you feel like crying then go ahead even if you don't know why. Congrats on your new baby, you're doing fine, take a deep breath and everything will be fine.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:36 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Feed her if she is hungry. Listen... my Dr told me the same thing only to give my son a certain amount and I tried and it was so stressful and horrible. People told me to jsut feed him how much he wants and when he wants it I have ever since he is so healthy and happy and I'm not as stressed. The first 2 weeks home are the hardest. I was lost when I first came home, like what do I do now? the nurses did everyrthing in the hospital and now what. I got through those 2 weeks and now my son will be 5 months old on Saturday and he laughs and rolls over and eats baby cereal and is the love of my life. I felt like you do at first too and I know this isn't much help but it really does get better way better. I told my hubby yesterday I wish babies could be born at like 2 months old because it's so much more fun at that age on. But this stage 9newborn) goes by so so fast so enjoy it even though you are super super tired and upset. ...
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 11:38 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • 1st -- you CAN BF. I had flat nipples and BF two babies. You need medela nipple shields to draw your nipples out (only took me wearing them 2 to 3 hours a day for a few days to get mine completely drawn out). Just simply nurse on demand. You can start now and feed the colostrum (no need to supplement with formula) and your milk will be in a day or two.

    But if you just don't want to BF at all, you need to still feed on demand. 2 oz is insane and I've never heard that feeding on demand can lead to diabetes. The research states that introducing solids (even rice cereal) before 4 months old can lead to diabetes.

    If feeding formula or breast milk on demand led to diabetes then we'd all be diabetic.

    Either you misunderstood your dr, which can happen to a new mom when you're completely exhausted and hormonal, or your dr is an idiot.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:41 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • ... my son started sleeping through the night at 2 months old. If that can give you some hope. I'm still tired I think being a mom you will always be somewhat tired but it gets so much better. I feel for you because I felt the same way when I brought my son home I was crying because I wanted my time back with my hubby and it is all about the baby I wasn't prepared for that for some reason. But after the first 2 weeks to a month it got so much better and now it's a blast. Hang in there and talk to your hubby and friends. Congrats on your baby and good luck.
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 11:42 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I had both my girls by c-section and I know your pain. But in a week or less you will be fine and doing everything for her. And Daddys should help. I know you want to be the one to care for her and you will, but now you do what you can and let daddy help. Your body is going through hormonal changes, like the pp stated, and it is normal to be crying. Give your self a few day to feel better. Soon enough you will be up and able to care for your beautiful baby. And I agree with the other moms, if your baby is crying because she is hungry, feed her. Just make sure everything else is fine, burped, changed and comfy , if she is still crying feed her. I'm sure she'll be fine.
    Just do your self a favor and give yourself a break, you need to heal and it takes 10 (I don't care what Drs. say, 40 weeks is 10 months!) months to have a baby, it will take time to heal.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 11:44 AM on Sep. 10, 2009

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