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Step Parents. Does your teen?

Are you remarried? Does your teen respect your husband? I am having a hard time with my son respecting my husband. DH is a great man but much tougher than my sons bio dad. My son is so stubborn We had a family meeting the other day and my son said "why is he here?" DH responded "because i live here" My son got pissed and walked away and then my DH called him a "baby" for walking away making a terrible comment. My DH is due an apology but my son will not apologize. What to do??


Asked by dillonsma at 12:36 PM on Sep. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Respect is something you earn. Your DH needs to be genuinely concerned about what is going on in your son's life. Does he attend your son's school functions, ballgames, band concerts? Does he ask how school is going and how the Algebra test was? Does he take an interest in the music your son likes or the video games he plays? Does he know your son's friends names and talk to them when they come to the house?

    I'm asking these questions because my DH never did this with my daughter and I firmly believe it is why they never got along. On the bright side, she is now 23 and married and their relationship is better.

    Answer by Dyndudes at 9:53 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • How long has DH been in his life? I have the opposite problem, I'm the stepmom of an almost 18YO boy. He respects me, but not his dad. Its so bad that he hasn't spoken to him or returned his calls in 5 months. I always took a back seat to parenting though, left it up to my DH and his ex. I don't think its your DH's place to discipline your son, he definitely deserves his respect, but he shouldn't be the one doing any discipline. And while your son does need to apologize, it sounds like your DH needs to also...he can't call your son names and expect to be respected.

    Answer by gramsmom at 12:40 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • 7 years and he does not discipline at all, but has no respect for him, they barley talk. Its driving me crazy.

    Answer by dillonsma at 12:46 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I think your DH should apologize for calling your son names. He is a grown man he need to act like one. You should not be pushing your DH into a father role with your son. You should be the one to discipline your son. Yes your son should respect that your new DH is a part of the house hold. But your DH should back off  the nasty comments.


    Answer by louise2 at 12:46 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I agree but my DH will not apologize. They both think they are owed an apology.

    Answer by dillonsma at 12:48 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • my mom remarried when i was 14 and i hated him. we hated eachother. it was hell until i moved out of there house when i was 16. honestly, IMO i think your going to just have to let them fight out their problems. its tough for a kid to get used to a guy comming in their life and trying to tell them what to do like they are their real dad. i dont know how old your son is, but he might be too old to have someone come in and start trying to disipline him. you might be better off letting only you do his discipline if you want them to get along.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:07 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I remarried when my now 13 y/o daughter was 6 - since the day she met my husband she loved him; he and I disagree on parenting styles because we were raised differently. I have since become the Disciplinarian.
    Discipline is something that the 2 of you need to agree on.
    I agree with other responses: your husband needs to stop the Name calling - Be The Adult in the situation; pick your battles
    You can't force your son to "love" your new husband, but you must teach him to respect him as a member of the family. I know I would be angry too if I wasn't accepted into a family.

    Answer by luvbeinhermom at 1:18 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • If your DH will not apologize." Tell him do not expect my son to apologize either".

    Answer by louise2 at 1:24 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • If they both feel as if they are owed an apology, what is wrong with a conversation in which both parties apologize for the part that they have played. They each can get what they want (apology) and then perhaps be able to move on and work better together in the future.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Sep. 10, 2009