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what would you do if you found out your 13 y/o daughter's BF asked to kiss her?

I found out that my 13 year old daughter's "boyfriend" who she text with more than talks to text her and asked if he could kiss her.
I'm kinda freaked out about the thought, but I also know that her first kiss is eventually going to happen
I've asked her about it; she says she's not ready to kiss him and told him this, but I have a feeling that he will pursue. . . .
Should I keep talking to her about it (bugging her) although she complains that she doesn't want to talk about it??

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Asked by luvbeinhermom at 1:07 PM on Sep. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (18)
  • Well, that is sweet he asked first. I would leave her alone if she doesn't want to talk about it. She already knows how you feel. Don't nag her that will just push her away and she will never tell you anything

    Answer by abellvalerie at 1:09 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • i wouldnt bother her too much, gotta trust her a little bit, and atleast he asked, thats always a good sign, atleast hes not one of those guys who just does it and leaves when the girl doesnt want to. he has some respect.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I think you jusrt need to remind her about what is appropriate for a girl her age and what you expect from her. You have the perfecet way to lead into the conversation!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • i lost my virginity when i was 13! and no i wasnt a slut. i had a boyfriend for 2 years. i think you should talk to her about it if she wants to, but dont make her feel like you will be upset with her or that she cant trust you because then she probably wont want to talk to you, or trust you, and will go behind your back when she does things. just let her know that you know shes starting to grow up, and thats okay with you, and that you care about her and would love to know whats going on in her life since youve been there before and can give her advice, and just let her know if she ever wants to talk, your there.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:13 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I would let her know how proud you are of her to be willig wait until later in life and that you appreciate her talking to you about it. I would let her know that there is NOTHING she could not talk to you about. i would also emphasize to her or her boyfriend how you appreciate the fact that he was a gentleman in asking for permission. I would not nag at her or anything. she will turn a deaf ear at some point in time. but most imporant, make sure she knows how you are are poud of her for knowing she was not ready and sticking to that decision and there is NOTHING wrong with that!

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 1:14 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Don't push the issue, but make sure she know how you feel and that no matter what she can ALWAYS come to you. Tell her that she can ask you anything and you will have a calm conversation about it. It is not always easy but as the mom to a 16 yo dd, I tell you these conversations are important. And if she know she can come to you now with her first kiss, she'll feel better about coming to you with really important things. This is the first of many! And how sweet that he asked and didn't just do it.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 1:15 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I'd talk with her about being true to herself and her feelings. It's not about what he wants it's about what she wants. Once he gets the kiss will he settle for that? If not, how far is she willing to let him push her? My dd listened to her bf who gave her the old line "if you love me you will". After a yr of that crap she gave in and got pregnant at 13. So it can all be a learning experience for her for future encounters with men. Your dd is the master of her own fate. Tell her to not allow him or anyone to bully her into doing something she's not ready to do.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:17 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • It's just a kiss. Calm down. It isn't like he asked her to have sex with him. The fact that he asked first shows that he cares about her and her feelings. That's a good sign. He probably won't push then. Calm down.

    Answer by purpleducky at 1:18 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • You know what kissing leads to, right?

    Answer by louise2 at 1:18 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I wouldn't do anything if he only asked for a kiss. If he asked for something more than a kiss, then I'd freak out. It's only a kiss and kissing doesn't always lead to anything. It could lead to the end of whatever was going on between them - LOL. I would be happy he asked first instead of just kissing her and making things uncomfortable. I would just maybe tell her that it's ok not to be ready to kiss him, but when she wants to talk about it with you, she will. Don't push the subject because it will push her away. That's what happened with my mom and I.
    Good Luck
    And good for your daughter for telling him she wasn't ready.

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 1:27 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

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