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Should I be concerned?

So dh has been depressed lately, and he doesn't want to talk about it. Though he says he feels old beyond his years (he is almost 29) and he feels like he always fights with his kids (they are 11 and 12) and they don't listen to or respect him and he feels like a failure. But yet he won't say much more than that.
Well now he has become distant and he has changed and is basically letting the kids do whatever it is they feel like. They live with us full time so I know. For 2 weeks now, they don't do homework hardly ever, watch Tv all afternoon, the 12 y/o sd is hanging out with girls that are 17 and 18 and going who knows where, basically kinda letting the kids raise themselves. Now I am worried, and I don't know what to do. I am looking for advice. I am worried about him, also VERY worried about the kids as well.
Any thoughts or suggestions on what I can do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Sep. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • Yeah, I would be concerned. Why does he feel like a failure? his job? lack of money? his kids? Men have a hard time with these type of issues it seems. But that in no way gives him the right to stop being his kids parent... even when times get tough and you get down, you don't have that RIGHT to stop parenting and trying to instil good values and morals to your kids and rules for that matter. Tell him to snap out of it or go talk to someone. These are SUCH Crucial years for girls, they can go in such a bad and wrong direction if not guided in the right direction...!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:28 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • sounds like he got to the giving up and they'll learn from their own mistakes point. kids that age are starting the attitude that they know better than parents. and maybe b4 since they respected him and listened now all the sudden wont its hurting him. i've learned its easier for men to ignore the bad hoping it will change than women will. (my dh even does it with my3 yr old SS). Have you told him that you're worried about the kids? maybe taking focus off him and onto the children will be easier. and since they live with you, then they need to know they have to respect and listen to you as well. you may even have to get their birth mom (if she's in their life) involved and have a mini intervention. Good luck momma!
    AmandaN1

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 3:27 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

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