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why would someone be against adoption?

a post said alot of people on cafe mom are against adoption.. why would some one be against it? i would love to be able to adopt later down the line, i do want to have more bio children but what could be wrong with adoption? also do you think that creepymovie the orhapn effect adoption?

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Asked by melis1029 at 4:43 PM on Sep. 10, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (40)
  • rates.

    Answer by melis1029 at 4:43 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Nobody is against adoption for a child that needs one. Where adoption goes wrong it when children are separated unnecessarily from their families for the sake of business, and the unethical and immoral practices of some adoption agencies and lawyers.

    There was quite a fuss about "The Orphan" and many people worried that it would discourage people from adopting out of the Foster system. I hope people are smarter than that.


    Answer by onethentwins at 5:01 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • The people who say that there are many people on Cafemom anit-adoption are misinformed. Anyone who says one negative (or honest) thing about adoption is often labeled anti-adoption. There are many of us who think adoption practices and counseling for pregnant women with unplanned pregnancies need to improve vastly. However, people who disapprove of ALL adoption are rare. Many of us dislike adoptions that were the result of pushy, greedy and money hungrey agencies and attorneys, and unethical and bad practices. That does not mean that we dislike ALL adoption. We do not.

    Adoption helps some people, but, it can harm and have negative consequences as well. It is unnatural and painful to lose a child to adoption, and growing up adoptee can sometimes present difficult issues as well. If you do decide to adopt someday, educate yourself thoroughly first.

    Answer by Southernroots at 6:11 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Hopefully, a movie like the Orphan is one that most people will realize is not the norm in adoption. I doubt it will have a serious impact on adoption. I worry more about movies like ones that make adoption look attractive to young women. and are totally unrealistic.

    Answer by Southernroots at 6:14 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • I think you are seeing some birth mothers that regret their decisions venting here and blaming "the system". Don't let is discourage you! Millions of kids out there need loving, devoted parents. Go for it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • The only thing about adoption that I am against is that people opt to adopt from other countries when there are plenty of kids here that need adopted...the downside of that is that some of the red tape you have to get thru.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:51 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Jademom07-
    Are you an adoptive parent? Have you adopted on of those "plenty of kids" that need to be adopted? My guess is no to both questions...
    It is none of your business how someone decides to build a family. It is such a huge misconception that there are tons of kids here that are adoptable. More than half of the kids in the system are not available for adoption. TPR must be signed and unfortunately that doesn't happen for many children.
    Every process is long and exhausting.. no process is easy.
    I am one of those people that you dislike.. I adopted internationally. It took us 2 years before we met our daughter Lillian. We began the process 2 years after our first daughter was stillborn at 36 weeks after 7 years of infertility. It took 6 months to finish the paperwork, then another 2 months for it to be processed into the Chinese system. It then took 17 months for a referral and another 8 weeks to travel. We then spent

    Answer by mcginnisc at 8:55 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • 17 days in China to finalize the adoption. After we returned home, we began the process for re-adoption so that we could get a US birth certificate. It took us 6 months to complete that process. We were able to get a SS# right away, but we still don't have a Ga BC for Lilly. It has been 2 years since we completed the process completely.
    My BIL/SIL tried for years to adopt from foster care. They were told that they make too much $$ and that they would never have a placement since they are CA and the only children available are bi-racial or AA. They have since given up on adoption. It has been 6 years since they began that process here.
    I would suggest that you do some research before commenting on subjects that you probably don't have any experience with.

    Answer by mcginnisc at 9:04 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • Because some people have negative experiences and in turn, hate the entire "idea" of it. It is just like if someone where to get into a plane crash, survive and then vow to never get on a plane again and try to dissuade others from flying.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 9:37 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

  • mc, I hate that idea too. "You should only be able to adopt HERE".

    I also wanted to let you know how deeply sorry I am for your loss...we had a fullterm loss 3 years ago.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 9:39 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

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