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How do I get a strong willed child to go to bed!?!

Ok, let me give u a little backround on my loving daughter. She is 21 months old. about to be 2 in december. She is a strong willed child and very sassy at times. I work until 9:45pm almost everyday. I know my little bitty miss's me. We live 30 minutes away from where I work. Also, we are down to one car. We are having such a hard time getting her to mostly stay assleepy at night. And yes some times just got get her to go to sleep. Some times there is no way to get her to stop screaming it seems. She wants to throw herself on the floor and roll around screaming and throwing her head back screaming...idk, what to do with her. Crying it out does not work!! Car rides dont work...we are currently tryin putting her mattress in our room and let her sleep on the floor since she doesn seem to like that. We dont give her bottles in the middle of the night anymore. N E ONE WITH ANY THOUGHTS!?!

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Lucky_Mommy_07

Asked by Lucky_Mommy_07 at 11:18 AM on Sep. 11, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • Let her throw her fits, seriously, as soon as you give in to them they have won. Both my kids went through phases at that age where they didn't want to go to bed. They cried it out every night, if they got out of bed, I put them back. I didn't say anything to them, I didn't yell or even console them, I just put them back.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:21 AM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • What time do you get up? How much time do you spend with her after you get home? Maybe you ned to adjust her schedule so that she goes to bed later and gets up later....Even though it's common for children to be in bed by 8/9 pm, it all depends on your family and your schedules. I get home at 730pm and dd goes to bed at 9. I used to get home at 4pm and she would be in bed by 8. but if I tried that getting home at 730 and putting her to bed at 8, she did the same thing yours is doing. She needed mommy time and as long as she is still getting 8-10 hours of sleep a day, she is fine...part of that time is nap as well.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:21 AM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • I ge off at 9:45pm at night and most of the time she is asleep. we have tried putting her back in bed over and over again and she screams for hours. We are up by 6-7am to get my husband to work n then i go to work by 12 in the after noon and she goes to daycare by 11am to get her there on time for lunch and a nap. last night she let me know how much she missed me. She stayed up with me till 11pm and would only go to sleep with me on the couch with her little arms around my neck and her little leg wrapped around my waist. I woke up at 1am and put her to bed she actually slept all night after that and was up before my husband...lol.
    Lucky_Mommy_07

    Answer by Lucky_Mommy_07 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • YEP I AGREE LET HER THROW FITS, FOR HOURS IF SHE WANTS! SHOW HER UR WILL IS STRONGER THAN HERS IF U DONT IT COULD LEAVE HER W/ A SENSE OF INSECURITY...REALLY I KNOW SOUNDS NUTS! BUT PUT HER BACK IN BED OVER AND OVER AND OVER............NANNY 911 FOLLOWS THIS SAME SYSTEM!! BE A STRON MOMMA!! :)
    mommyhero

    Answer by mommyhero at 11:51 AM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Tire her out. Make her do something that exercises her muscles like playing with a ball or take her for a walk and make her walk about an hour before your bed time routine.
    MythicMMM

    Answer by MythicMMM at 11:57 AM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • I have a strong willed child who started crying it out at 8 months and still at 21 months cried himself to sleep everynight for up to an hour - SO i had to try seomthing else, what I actually did was prepare him for bed by talking to him about what he gets to sleep with. Oh Elmo is in your bed, you get to sleep with your blue blanket, oh and your BIG puppy is in there too - and in the morning, Mommy will be here to get you and we will play play in the morning. Sounds simple but it has worked 85% of the time...its insane how something that small has worked for him - he just wants to be aware of EXACTLY what is going on and when and why I guess... he's 22 months now and it really has been an amazing transition. last 2 nights were TOTALLY cry free...
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:09 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • In addition to what maxsmommy said, you could get a clock for her room, an actual one, not digital, and next to it put a paper one. Tell her that we get up at seven o'clock and draw what that looks like. Then tell her that when the Real clock matches the paper clock, she can call you in there, NICELY, because it will be morning. I have repeatedly had to ask my son when he was like 4 to check the time before called or turned on a tv in the morning, this is a good reminder for her and it can be used to boost her confidence. You can tell her that she is learning to "tell time." Or that she gets to call you in to tell you it's time to get up in the morning. that she is the official "wake up girl, but only if she can behave and go to sleep the night before. Just some thoughts...hope it helps.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 12:18 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • That doesn't really sound like a strong willed child.
    That sounds like a child that desparately misses her mommy. What can you do to make it possible to spend more time with her? I would be doing everything possible if I were you to make sure that you could at least go part time.
    And to those who advocate for her to cry it out, that is just plain mean. There is a difference in ignoring or disciplining poor behavior, and preventing it in the first place, which it sounds like you could do if you spent more time with her.
    Look at all your finances, your spending habits, things you own that you don't need. How much is your house payment/rent? How much do you spend on food/eating out? Is any of that really more important then comforting and bonding with your child?
    squish

    Answer by squish at 12:59 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Bedtime routines. Do the same thing every night in preparation for bed. She needs time to wind down.

    I have a strong willed child who still sometimes has problems with bedtime (she's 4). We have a bedtime routine and we stick to it.

    As far as her missing you, can you do a phone call to Mommy as part of her bedtime routine? I know it's not as good as the real thing, but it might help.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 1:42 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Please don't get it twisted thinking I don't already spend as much time with my daughter as I can get in with her. My 2 days off are strickly me and her. If I could work part time even hell be a stay at home mother I would. But in our situation I am the bread winner in the family and I am the one that carries her and my own insurance. If I could easily go to my bose and be like look I need a diffenent schedule I would. But its not that easy, we have to wait for new hires to hit the floor after traning and sometimes its months before that even happens. I have been with this job for 8 months now and I have only had the chance to do that once. I took a schedule that would at least get me a couple of days off in a row to spend with my daughter and my husband. Im streched every which way. Thoughts and Ideas are great so far but I dont need to be critized. Jobs are hard to find now a days expecially getting paid the way I do.
    Lucky_Mommy_07

    Answer by Lucky_Mommy_07 at 2:08 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

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