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having problems climaxing??

sorry that this is a TMI question.But ever since my husband and i have gotten together,almost 5 years now,it takes forever to get me to the big O.the only way it happens is if my hubby eats me out,i play with myself while i do things to him, or me on top.we have tried everything it seems like.and i feel so bad,cause i feel like i am being selfish.almost everytime after i get off he penetrates me right away and is done within a few thrusts and then he is done for the night.i feel like we have tried everything.we have watched porn together,played with eachother,played in the shower,made passes at eachother through out the day,took nude sexy photos of eachother,send nude photos on our phones to one another throughout the day,emailed eachother our fantasies or what we wanted to do to the other,tried different positions,and even bought toys.i have told my husband that i want to try role playing,****MORE TO FOLLOW BELOW***


Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Sep. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)

    Ok seriously, I recommend this. I had the same problem until I started buying ABC cream. You only need a little to get a lot out of it. It helped me, hop it helps you too. Good luck

    Answer by jakjasjon at 5:09 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • ***CONTINUED*** being kids again playing over the clothes like you did in your parents living room with them in the next room, playing in the movies or at the drive inn.we have even video tapped our sex sessions for fun,having the camera hooked up to the tv so we can see what we are doing.we have even done extreme intimate kissing and tried out a lot of different positions. we even bought books for suggestions but it doesnt seem to last very long. i am 9 months pregnant and we have a 3 year old. i just feel like our sex life is no where near where it used to be. it feels like its a task now. any suggestions?? oh we have also done date night with out our 3 year old, romantic dinners, and having sex with romantic music in the candle light..

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Have you always been this way or is it just with this man? You may just be one of those women that take awhile to get there. Men are like firecrackers and some women are like diesel engines they take some time to get warm...He shouldn't feel that this is an obligation and sex shouldn't be always about getting off. There are times when he does and I don't but I feel just as satisfied because I spent that intimate moment with him and it felt good just not an explosion.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:03 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Try using an arousal cream and see if it helps. My favorite is called Xscream and its from pure romance, i like the vanilla frosting flavor.

    Answer by trevsrockinmom at 1:09 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • you hubby needs to learn to last longer that's all.

    Answer by lowencope at 1:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • i have always been this way with every guy.i lost my virginity when i was 16,and my first was no walk in the park,he pretty much just stuck it in,didnt even heat up the oven first,and when i started to feel my skin break(the cherry i guess)i told him to get off second time the guy just stripped my bottom half and took forever,he didnt even really preheat the oven either or even keep it going for that 3rd time it was magic i was totally in love and was in awe with this man,he was small but defanitaly new what he was doing and was overly excited to please me first and keep going all night.but i only got off orally with him.and i was just happy to have intimate time with husband i feel the same way with the last guy,my husband defanitly knows what he is doing and knows how to wow me.but it feels like the only way it happens is orally,me doing it myself(which still takes forever)or me on top.*continued below

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • **CONTINUED** I feel like a defective..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Honey there are only a small percentage of women that get off vaginally only. Majority require clitoral stimulation to climax and most have never had a g-spot O. You are not alone and what you see on the porn movies is mostly orchestrated by a director and they are not getting off that quickly. find YOUR groove...I take at least 15 min to get heated up and by myself only takes 5 min to get off but with dh it takes 10-15 min after I heat up to get off. You are not defective.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:32 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • thanks, it just feels weird, cause my hubby doesnt like to foreplay cause he says either way i take forever. i kid you not it takes me 30 mins to sometimes over an hour. and my husband and i always have sex at night right before bed, he is afraid our son will walk in and wont even try to have sex during the day cause he is still afraid our son will walk in and does not want to close and lock the door, cause he is afraid our son will feel like we abandoned him. there was a few times during the weekend where i closed myself up in our bedroom and played with myself and sent my hubby photos on his phone and told him when i was ready, then he made sure our son was entertained by a movie, all the doors were locked, gates up and our son couldnt get into anything. then he would come up take 5 mins if that and we would take care of him. but i feel like we are just doing a routine, nothing is spontaneous anymore..***CONTINUED BELOW**

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • **CONTINUED** and like we are on a timer and have to start and finish with in so many mins.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Sep. 11, 2009