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Resentment during pregnancy?

Is it normal to resent my husband during pregnancy? More so in the 3rd trimester? I feel as though he is not contributing to anything, which is worrisome (as well as really pissing me off) now that there is only a few more weeks til the baby gets here. This is our first, and I feel as though all his promises to man up and take on responsibility have been a complete waste of time since he seems to act more childish and lazy than ever these days! Am I getting my panties in a bunch for nothing, or is it a "mother's intuition" that he is not stepping up to his parental responsibilities?? I really need him right now, and his son is sure as hell gonna need him too when he's born...and because of this I am beginning to resent the man who was once my world! Please, help??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Sep. 11, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I have a lot of resentment towards my SO, but it revolves around other things. I think the hormones have a lot to do with how you are feeling, but you are totally justified in feeling the way you do if he's not showing you that he can hold up to his end of the bargain. Just know that most guys get the kick in the gut that they need when the baby actually comes.. they just don't feel it as an impending thing when your still pregnant because.. well.. they're not attached to that baby like you are. It will get better once the baby's really there and he realizes that this isn't just talk anymore, there's diapers to change and crying to help out with, and feeding to be done.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 1:28 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • No you are justified and he is doing what many men do before their whole world changes. He is beign childish and not doing, well, a lot. They do that because they don't know what else to do with themselves... inside they are freaking out and outside they just shutdown, to put it mildly. His whole world is about to be rocked HARD and I when that baby comes thinks will be different... hw will be different. It will be better.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 12:56 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • ahhah you feel like this now justy w8 till after the baby is born, I felt the same why and i have a very good husband when it comes to cooking cleaning and carring for the baby, but the only thing that kept him alive for the first 3 months is the fact that i was just to tired to kill him. Its your hormones and also its the first time your looking at his behaver as a soon to be father insted of just a husband. Think back i am sure he has alawys had his lazy selfish moments, they just never really hurt anyone before. I warn you though the two of you are going to fight like cats and dogs for the first couple of months, just try to keep your cool, one day out of the blue he will step up your homones will return to proper levels and a new life routien will emerge. There are going to be nights where you swear your going to split up, but you won't the first child will put your marrage through the ultimate test. It will get better...
    KittyCalais

    Answer by KittyCalais at 2:01 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • My husband and I had a few fights in my 2nd trimester about me feeling like he wasn't doing shit. Once we got it all out of the way, I felt a lot better and he actually started to help. Ask your SO to do just simple things that will help you out if you want to avoid confrontation say "Baby, it really hurts to bend down to unload the dishwasher, can you unload it for me a few nights a week?" Same with putting his dirty clothes in the hamper and stuff. My hubs has changed sooo much after the arguements so if your hubby doesn't seem to respond to asking nicely maybe you should tell him that he's really irritating you by not helping at all with the pregnancy. Tell him "yeah, I may be a hormonal bitch right now, but thats just another reason why you should be helping so I don't punch you while you're sleeping"....no reason you can't be completely honest :))
    momma_shuler

    Answer by momma_shuler at 2:03 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • If you think it's bad now just wait till the baby comes! Seriously, if you're bf'ing, there is very little your hubby will be able to do, even if he wants to. I got up with our baby ALL THE TIME, even once I went back to work. I wanted to strangle him, I was so pissed at how unfair the whole thing was. Our baby wanted me and only me and so I ended up doing the lion's share of the work. Not only are we pregnant and miserable for 9 mos, in the baby's first years, we end up doing nearly everything, too!
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 2:35 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • In my opinion - you are NOT over-reacting and your relationship is doomed unless you can get him to counseling or give it up -

    Resentment during pregnancy?
    Is it normal to resent my husband during pregnancy? More so in the 3rd trimester? I feel as though he is not contributing to anything, which is worrisome (as well as really pissing me off) now that there is only a few more weeks til the baby gets here. This is our first, and I feel as though all his promises to man up and take on responsibility have been a complete waste of time since he seems to act more childish and lazy than ever these days! Am I getting my panties in a bunch for nothing, or is it a "mother's intuition" that he is not stepping up to his parental responsibilities?? I really need him right now, and his son is sure as hell gonna need him too when he's born...and because of this I am beginning to resent the man who was once my world! Please, help
    KELLI2L

    Answer by KELLI2L at 6:26 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

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