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Important question! Please give opinion...

Okay My DH may be going away in November to train to be a Correctional Officer. He can't decide whether to postpone it or be there for the birth of our first child in December. The reason He is debating is because we live in California and new CO jobs has been put to a complete stop for a while, and may be put to a stop again... We're financially strapped right now, but we're surviving... If it were you would you have your husband go or would you want him there for the birth of your first child? He asked me to ask you guys what you think... Id love him to be in the delivery room but as a CO he will be making TONS of money compared to what he is making now. Being a CO will definitely make raising a child easier money wise.... Any input would be of help. Thank you all

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Sep. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • If there is no immediate potential of getting a position as a CO after his training, I'd have him there for the birth. How long is the training for anyway?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:52 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • The training is 3 months. If he gets into the training academy then he will for sure get a job. But the whole thing has been closed training camps and all. It just opened back up
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • My DH is a CO and it has certainly made our lives easier. I know the birth of your first child is very, very important, but you have to think of the big picture too. Maybe having someone like your mom videotape the birth for him will make it easier. If there's anyway of getting a better job in this economy, grab it. Once he gets hired, CO is very stable job and there are very periodic step raises and COLA raises. Besides I hear in California they make a LOT of money compared to our state.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • even tho he's there you could always go into labor and be rushed to the hospital while he is stuck in traffic.If he misses his kids birth it does not mean he loves your child anyless,you can always get it on video.yes! having him there would be so great but! once that baby is out your gonna want the very best for the baby and being in financial distress is gonna break your heart. so you pick,do you want him there and be sad that you cant give your kid what you want or do you want him getting stuff started and holding your baby knowing daddy is doing something to give your little one a better life? its up to you.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 2:03 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • I would want him there for the birth. I've had 3 babies now, and I have no desire to deliver without my husband present. I need him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • The birth of a baby is a huge thing, but I look at it in the bigger picture. At the end of the day, is she/he going to care if dad was there. Or will she care that she has food, clothes, and a roof over her head.

    I would have hubby go, make a better future for you guys, then have someone record it from beginning to end...every last little detail. So that he can have the memories, even if he isn't there.

    Another way to look at it is like this, if he was in the military and deployed there would be no question of what would be done. Well in November your husband will be "deployed" for 3 months. And when he get's back you guys will have a better future ahead of you.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 2:30 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • "The training is 3 months. If he gets into the training academy then he will for sure get a job."

    And if he doesn't, there's a risk that he won't get one, correct?

    Knowing that...I'd have him go. Better to have a guarantee. (But then...my husband irritated the heck out of me during delivery!)
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:33 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Well, I only have 1 child and don't intend to have more and my husband was amazing for all 38 hours of my labor but... I would be just as fine with my Mom or someone else being there - especially if it could be video taped.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:07 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Have him go. You could go into labor early , or him not be there becaues of some other unchangable event, and this sounds like it will put you both in a great postion for raising your child.
    soveryconfused

    Answer by soveryconfused at 4:18 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • I am understanding your needs, but, I am speaking from the old times when, I had my older children, when no one was allowed in the delivery room, your husband walked in the labor room,and the babies were still being born,honey, don't let no one tell you your DH is less than a man or he don't love you because he chose to go get a better job ,that will bless him and you and your baby.Women,have always had babies in the room by them-self,ask you mom or your grandmom,and believe it or not,most men wish they could still wait in the waiting room. Women say,oh, I need my DH for support,but,sometimes,these are the same women who are yelling,get him out of here,. This is between you and your DH, but, I respect any man ,who is trying to improve himself and raise his income for his family. GOD bless you. Oh, don't forget you can always set up a cam camera ,and that's like him being there.

    lady-t3984

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 4:26 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

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