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Marriage problems...

Is it pretty normal to have problems in a marriage after a new baby. It seems like since my son was born my husband is different. I think it's mostly in part to the fact that since my son was born I've lost all desire to have sex. I can't help it my son is the most fascinating part of my life now. I love my husband I just wish he would understand... Am I the only one out there that feels like this?

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Aidensmommy628

Asked by Aidensmommy628 at 9:55 PM on Sep. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • you still need to take a few minutes and take care of your babies needs. i know your tired but at least once a week wouldnt kill you. tell him if you have sex with him/give head whatever while the baby sleeps then HE gets to watch the baby while hes awake so that you can nap/clean whatever you would have done while he was sleeping. its a give and take thing. compromise :)
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 10:02 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Don't forget about your Hubby or he will forget about you. He did help make the baby, remember how it happened? Men equate sex with love, so if you love him, give him sex....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • i meant hubbys* not babies lol sorry
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 10:04 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • One of the negative ways a baby affects marriage is the amount of time and energy she requires from her parents. A parent who cares for this demanding human day and night may have little left to offer his or her spouse. The lack of intimacy that can result and cause resentment on one or both sides can be crippling
    JoyandLove

    Answer by JoyandLove at 10:04 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Remember that you husband deserves and needs your love, too. It is why he married you. It isn't right for him to feel shoved aside. It is normal to feel that your life centers around the baby right now. It is a basic instinct. Mother Nature made us this way to preserve the species. So you must rise above your basic instinct and turn your face toward the person who loves and needs you enough to have chosen to marry you. Think of him often and with love. Your heart is big enough to love both your husband and your baby. Bring up the feelings that have receded, determine that you'll try to satisfy your husband's desires once or twice a week. Cuddle with him and caress him, make him glad that you are his wife and the mother of his child.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • What your feeling is definitely normal. Your tired, you've changed all the diapers, cleaned all the spit up, fed the baby every 2 hours, don't get enough sleep and to top it off your supposed to have sex?! These first months are very tiring, i know i felt the same way. Now that my son sleeps more and can entertain himself I've found myself feeling back to normal. :)
    HaydensMama42

    Answer by HaydensMama42 at 10:29 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Wow, im shocked that most answers are telling you "to give in and just have sex with him." thats pretty sad. If he was cheating on you would you give in and just get over it because his needs are met? Excuse me, but thats some total bullsh*t. Take care of you and your son first and foremost. If he is upset that you aren't having sex with him, well thats just to damn bad and he needs to get over it. You can show him that you love him in so many other ways. Take a date night, or just a night to relax and watch a movie.

    emmas_mama07

    Answer by emmas_mama07 at 10:29 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Emma's mama, are you comparing childbirth to cheating? I don't quite see how you came up with your complaint.

    As for sex, the first 6 weeks are out anyway. Let your body heal. Then, if your husband is a good one, like mine, he's helpful. He lets you nap and volunteers to watch your adorable offspring. Since you love your husband, and there's this cool way to express that, then yes, maybe you could think about sex again. Use lots of lubrication!
    MonicaE521

    Answer by MonicaE521 at 10:39 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Because some responces said, "he needs his needs met.." and to give in and give him sex. What if he was cheating and his excuse was because his needs weren't being met, is she supposed to be ok with that, since his needs were met?
    emmas_mama07

    Answer by emmas_mama07 at 10:43 PM on Sep. 11, 2009

  • Dont do it to yoru self,give him his time you will regret it later if you dont...i did that and were gettting a divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

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