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Do you have a husband that ask you not to work?

I have a fiance that is African and doesnt believe in his girlfriend/wife to work. Now personally i feel horrible to know that hes the only one bringing in the money. I have 2 kids and i feel if i dont work im not being a good mother for my kids or myself. I grew up seeing my mother work two jobs and im taught if you want something you have to work. Currently we are going through alot of fiancal situation and are about to get married and need money and once i recenlty got a job he doesnt like it. I got a part time job and still feels like thats not enough. I really feel bad and feel like i failed and disappointed everyone around me when i drop out of school. Even though my husband knows this he still believes im good enough to stay at home. But what if we break up, then that means im without nothing and it should be my fault cause i depended on him. I want to do more for myself and my kids and if i just stay home and do nothing but watch the kids i dont think thats enough.

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Asked by brit041 at 5:43 PM on Jun. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • My new husband doesn't want me to work either, so I'm looking to find a job or business on line so I am contributing something to our lives. It's not that he doesn't want me to work, it's that I'm older and they won't pay me what I'm worth and he think's that degrading to me. Hope this helps.

    Answer by christybearskn at 8:41 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • ye so did mine but 2 months latter he begged me to get a job lol...u feel alot better knowing ur pitching in money as well girl trust me plus it gives u breathing time from the kids

    Answer by ShYmAmA08 at 8:43 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I so wish my dh would beg me not to work! lol! I am a SAHM already, but dh thinks I should work, and I was raised with the women around me staying home with the kids, and he was raised with the women around him working. It's just upbringings. Just enjoy it for awhile!

    Answer by renajennjenn at 8:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • i am a stay at home mom, i worked before my 3 sons where born, and after them i worked from home, daycare provider, and i did peice work from home, my husband said that it would interfere in his income tax, and he wouldn't be able to claim me, so i just didnt work, but, i feel guilty when it comes to buying him things, but honestly i think it's better nowadays to have yourself established, just incase, one never knows, so you can be independent if the time arrives, or even just to have your own money. i know i contribute in the home, but everything is on his shoulders and that makes me feel bad!

    Answer by brownsugar342 at 12:17 AM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • I'm a stay at home mom, the fact is that my job wouldn't have brought in enough money to pay for daycare and all that anyways. You mentioned getting a part-time have to make sure you sit down and do the math. Is a part-time job really going to bring in enough money to pay for someone to watch your child? In most cases it won't.

    Answer by MamaPyratekk at 8:48 AM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • Work it out to your satisfaction now, or rethink the relationship. It will not change after you are married. Either way it will be tough but now is better than later for your own sake and sanity!

    Answer by manna1qd at 9:28 AM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • My DH doesn't mind if I work or not but I chose to work only because my Mom taught me to always have my own. Even though I'm married and don't plan on leaving anytime soon I always like to have a safety net meaning if he ever wants to come home acting a fool an I feel its time to leave I can pick up with my 2 kids and know that I will be able to support myself with or without him. That's just me and he really hates it cause he says that I always have a contingency plan and he's right. Money is never an issue cause as long as the bills are paid he doesn't care how much I spend so most of the time all my paychecks go right to my savings, I wont have any problems getting up relocating. My Mom left my Dad when I was 5, we lived in Philly, one day she picked me up from school early next thing I know I'm on the a plane and landing in Cali, living and making my own money is all I know.

    Answer by kira25 at 9:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • Yes my hubby wants me to stay at home and even supported me while I got my home business up and running.

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    Answer by 080583heather at 11:48 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

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