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I am so tired of his drinking...how can I move on seriously?

He gets upset and blames me tonight because I didnt invite him to come with us to the carnival. He has been drunk for almost a whole month except at work but has been calling me everyday except his days off and thats when I always get messages or a phone call with his drunk ass on the other side blaming me for his drinking because I didnt do or say something right. Then he tells me that hes going to go away for good and die. I have had enough so tonight I got pissed at his messages and told him that I was done being his punching bag and living my life in fear wondering if I did or didnt say or do something right then scared of him blaming me for his drinking and taking it out on me when hes drunk. After that, he didnt text me back but before that he was talking about killing himself.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Well, it sounds like you both might need some counseling.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:04 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Why do I need counseling? Just curious...not saying its a bad idea.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Have him put on a 72 hour hold, call a hospital with a psych ward and tell them about his threat to kill himself. They'll go get him and keep him for 2 days to watch him. Advise them of his drinking problem and they may just put him in rehab while they're at it. And until he sobers up, don't take phone calls or answer text messages or be anywhere around him...see what happens...if you aren't there to say the wrong things then he can't blame you for his drinking.
    amyrw

    Answer by amyrw at 1:13 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Run as fast as you can! You can never change a drinking. NEVER !! don't even think you can do anything. no i didn't read your whole story. if you don't get away from him you will always deal with this. I am an alcoholic. Though I don't drink because I have children but I go days wanting alcohol so bad. I want it so bad some times i have drinks about getting drunk. Its hard. I only stopped for my kids. But some people don't stop for no one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I wanna call the cops but I just cant do it...he does this to me every week and at the end of every conversation he always tell me that he going to die. I think I just need to move on and stop taking his calls.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • grow over that fear darling. just call the cops. you wil be glad you did. get him locked up and get a restraining order. I used to be abused by a guy. One day I called the cops. I was scared at first because I figured he would come after me. but he went to jail for a weekend then I got a restraining order and he leaves me alone. You don't realize that it really isn't love for him. just pity and you are mistaking it. I can't convence you to do the right thing because it is your choice. but as long as he is there this will never stop. like i said i was and still am an alcoholic. nothing will change that not even AA. I also said i don't drink because i have kids. that is my will power. and don't listen to him either. once he gets introuble by the cops he'll come running back. AND HE'LL TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT TO HEAR. I love you, do it for the kids, your nothing with out me, you'll find no one else, and he knows you better ...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • than anyone so he'll know what to say to make him stay around. Trust me. I thought I love once but .. I didn't. I thought I could never love again, but I did. And what i have now is true love. he doesn't drink, or hit me, doesn't even call me names when we agrue. Not kidding. You don't have to get stuck with this trash. No matter what the reason. If you really want to, you'll call the cops when your ready. when you grow over the fear. and you'll be able to be free. live some where else. I assume you have kids. go to court and get full custody. and child support. YOU ARE NOT LOCKED UP. THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS IN LIFE. you are not stuck just because you ended up in a mess and are afraid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • You should call the cops next time. Then you can get him sent to custody. You'll get a hearing to get him jail time. If you do that don't skip the court date. I did that because I figured I had nothing to worry about, and he would leave me alone. But the guy I was with came stalking after me. Found me on myspace and got my number and practically hunted me down. I had to call the cops and do it all over again! When I should have just have done it the first time. Luckily he didn't come to hurt me. He just came to tell me I was worthless, and that he had a girlfriend who gave him better sex and some more lies. Which suprisingly didn't hurt because I realized after he was out of my life that I never loved him at all. And I am so glad I didn't have a kid with that guy because we were just about to try. Best wishes be strong!
    PrincessSmasher

    Answer by PrincessSmasher at 1:37 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I am not quite sure that you need counseling? You just need to get away from him! And make sure he has no contact with you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Thank you so much anon :33. I cant call the cops but I can walk away. I do have a child but my child is from another man. Tomorrow I will stay strong and not take his calls (thats if he even calls) because for some reason (out of love) I always call him the next day to make sure he is okay and then that opens the door for him to keep calling me because he knows I still care. I am so glad that everything ended up working out for you and I know that one day it will work out for me too.

    Thanks again to you and everyone else that answered. God bless you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

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