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Do you think men get married "husband material"?

I was talking to a girl at work, who's engaged. She said her fiancee is gonna take some work. I told her, after 21 years of marriage, that men don't get married husband material. They have to be gently molded into a husband, at least, most do. One of the guys took offense to that. He said he was not like that when he got married. I told him to ask his wife. He came back the next day,and said she totally agreed with me,and that she had to do alot of work on him to get him where he is now! So, I thought I'd bring it to you all. Did you have to work on your husband? Or, was he pretty good when you married? I don't mean helping around the house, being considerate,things like that. Some are,not all. My DH was a bachelor for 10 years before we got married,and had alot of habits I had to work on. Not break him totally,but make him a little more tolerable. What's your take on it all. Be respectful, PLEASE!

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Asked by stvmen88 at 10:05 AM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 5 (57 Credits)
Answers (39)
  • First off, you're not doing any changing of him. If he cares enough for you and the relationship, he quickly learns what compromise is, as well as consideration of the other.

    Answer by EireLass at 10:11 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Hmm, I have only been married a year (together for 5). But I think my husband settled me down and I settled my husband down. I guess we kind of molded each other. I can't say when we first met I was good wife material, lol.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Ugh, my husband still has things he needs to work on. Like getting his dirty clothes into the hamper. He will literally throw them beside it. Drives me nuts. And he leaves trash on the counters, and plates and glasses just lying around. Makes me so angry. There are a total of 7 people in this house and I'm the one that cleans it.

    It's definitely how you said it. Although, I'm sure there are some men who fit almost instantly into the husband role.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Of course there are,and as one poster said, we probably don't always come wife material,either. It is a work in progress.

    Answer by stvmen88 at 10:33 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • If you love some one you dont want to change them

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Maybe I just got lucky, but my husband of almost 9 years was in "move in ready" condition when we were married! LOL He was 38 and I was 32 when we married--first marriage for both of us, and neither of us had children from a previous relationship. We both had successful, independent lives, high-paying careers, owned our own townhouses/condos, and were both ready to settle down.

    If my husband wanted to eat, wear clean clothes, have those clothes repaired, pay for the things he wanted, as a bachelor, he had to learn how to do it himself (or pay to have these things done for him). I think the key is finding a responsible man who is self-sufficient (like not still eating at his mother's house a few times a week, or take his dirty laundry to her regularly!), and doesn't live with a roommate, if you want someone who his already "husband material!" My husband STILL does more than his "fair share" around the house. :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 10:40 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Yes you can mold him.I did.He was not mammas boy when I met him.I molded him we seperated for a while.His mother molded him and he changed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Darling, I think for the first time we agree on something lol.  My man was a good husband when I married him but he still needed a little subtle tweaking here and there. 

    Unfortunately I think he has done a little tweaking himself.  Sneaky bugger!


    Answer by beeky at 10:57 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Yes, I am molding my husband. however, he is also molding me. I was an irresponsible goober when we met and married. Now, i am the go-to girl in our extended family and friends anytime anyone needs help or advice. it is because my husband helped me to be responsible, caring, compassionate, and kind.
    However, I do have to say, i did have to do some serious "molding" of him as well. Drinking and drugs used to be his FAVORITE hobby. When we had dd, I got him to quit the drugs completely, even though is mother raised him smoking pot and doing cocaine(mother of the year material right?) He is a work in progress, as am I, but we work together to be the best we can be for each other, our family, our friends, and our community.

    Answer by mama4Christ361 at 10:58 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • No, I don't agree with you. If you just marry someone who isn't a selfish moron in the first place, you won't have to "mold" him. Honestly, this question is so sexist.

    Answer by feministmama at 11:03 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

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