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How could he ever get custody.....?

Ok well this is a sticky situation. To sum it all up, my EX is a registered sex offender. He knowingly had sex with a 15 year old girl when he was 21. Now, we have a 1 year old sone together and he has not been involved at all. I just established child support and immediately after the hearing he went to get papers to "see his son". Lemme remind you, he has not been involved. I have been told by my attorney that he could get visitation at best and I could request to have it be supervised visitation. What does this mean exactly? Who supervises it?? I am scared to death of any possibilithy of he getting more (like joint). But who would give any kind of custody to a sex offender? especially with a one year old... It has not even been a year and a half since he was sentenced so he doesnt have "good behavior" established. Help me.

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Asked by CMAmomma at 11:11 AM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I just went through the whole figuring out what supervised visits are. Basicly there are places that offer this service. He pays to see his kid and is watched from behind a window to moniter his activity. You arrive early and through a different entrance. If he doesn't show up in so much time, they send you home and he misses his chance

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Probably a neutral party for the supervised visitation. I doubt he will get any type of custody. You ask who would give a custody to a sex offender, isn't this something you should have thought about before hooking up with the man?


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • It is likely that if he hasn't wanted anything to do with the child thus far, he's making an attempt at something, and he likely WON"T do supervised visits which will only hurt him further in the court system.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Umm sex offender or not, he is still the childs father, you didn't find it offensive enough 10 mo ago to not sleep with him. That being said, the way supervised visits work here is you take the child to a special office, and leave, he is watched by a staff member in a room (with toys, table, chairs, ect.) The other parent comes in and gets to spend time with the child but the staff member never leaves the room and can do anything from council the parent on how to interact with the child to sitting there reading a magazine while they talk/play ect. Usually the parent who needs the supervised visits is the one who pays for them, but if you demand it, you may have to pay for it. Someone should have explained to you before you went for child support that it works both ways, you get income, but they then have a claim on the child as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Don't let him see the child until there are custody papers. In several states if he's on the BC he has as much right to just take off with the child as you do without some legal paperwork stating the visitation and custody.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Well, visitation is not the same as custody. Unless it's joint (where the child lives with one parent but both are responsible for major decisions and financial support). Yes supervised visitation would be a reasonable request to the court - they would look at the nature of his "sex offense" - say he was convicted of molesting a child 8 or under - a 4 year old - even a 10 year old - it could be argued that his 'sexual preference' is to prey on "small children" - but we're talking about a 21 year old boy (yeah I know he was technically legal) having (I presume) consensual sex with a 15 year old - that could fare different with the court. For you to ask for supervised visitation may also be reasonable based on his being a 'registered sex offender'. You can ask the court to appoint a supervisor or you may request a different supervisor. But you're likely going to have to prove to the court that it's warranted. Get ready.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 11:20 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • my man is a registered sex offender, it was false allegations though so i know he didn't do anything, but for us we are married and im scared that one day they are going to try and terminate his rights to our son saying hes a threat, nothin has happened yet but obviously if he doesn't want to see his son hes not a threat and a 15 and 21 yr old having sex isn't the worst thing, if it was something like molesting or rape i would think differently

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • OK, first of all, I admit, I was wondering why you were having kids with a registered sex offender, THEN, I READ the rest of your post. If your child is 1, then that means that you had sex with him aprox 21 months ago (depending on how long your ds has been one - is he literally 12 months, or is he, say, 15 months...)

    If the father had sex with the girl / went to court / was sentenced not even a year and a half ago, then that means it was LESS than 18 months ago. Which says to me that when you got pg, he was NOT a registered sex offender, and you didn't know about this / it hadn't happened yet.

    Right? If so, then don't sweat the pp's who are attacking YOU for HIS actions.

    There are different ways that the visits can be supervised, but basically what the pp's have described is how it generally works. It's a 3rd party who is neutral and a professional - either a Social Worker or someone like that.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:41 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Just to add more info, I did get pregnant after he was a sex offender, but he raped me. He was mentally abusive. I reported it to police and they did their investigation but then my allegations were dropped becaue of a he say/she say case becasue we were previously in a long term relationship. So it is as if nothing happened in the courts perspective

    Answer by CMAmomma at 11:48 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Anyone can "supervise" these visits. A friend of mine had a similar problem and her exes new girlfriend was the one supervising the visits. As ridiculous as it sounds, it is possible. I am sorry to say this, but I think you are now feeling nervous because instead of paying child support with no strings attached, he actually wants to see his kid. If you honestly think about it, this is your biggest problem. After all this time, he wants to see his son. There is nothing you can do to stop this. If he had molested a young boy, then I think you should worry, but he had consensual sex with a minor. There are worse things that could have happened. You should be glad that he wants to try to have a relationship with his son. It really hurts a kid when the father is not around. I hope things turn out well, for everyone involved.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:50 AM on Sep. 12, 2009

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