Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you get your kids to keep trying?

My daughter is 4, if she can't do something after trying once or twice she just gives up. I've told her she's really smart & she just need to keep trying. I got her a small keyboard, she tried to play one song twice & just gave up & said now I'm done. She does this with everythhing. I'm just getting so annoyed with it. I don't know how to make her keep trying. I made her sit @ the table & keep practicing but then she just cries. She's also the biggest cry baby in the world.

Answer Question

Asked by jfblaine at 12:47 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • try to make it fun and if she doesn't want to play with then you should. Mess up and laugh about it, and try again yourself. If you have fun when you keep trying...then maybe so will change her ways. But if she want's to stop...let her, no one likes to be made to do something...that just makes it more of a punishment then trying to have fun

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 1:10 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • it sounds like you are trying to make her do things YOU are interested in doing, not her. When she finds something that interests her then she'll stick with it but remember that she's only 4. Her attention span is very short which is normal. She's not an adult. Don't treat her like one. Leave her be and let her find what she likes to do.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:12 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I'm not making her do things I like doing. I don't even play the keyboard. and that was an example. She was the one who asked for a keyboard in the fist place. She's done the same thing with dance class, jumping rope, and trying to read, etc.... I'm not treating her like an adult I'm trying to get her to understand that she just can't give up on something.

    Answer by jfblaine at 1:45 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • STOP forcing her to do things. She is 4, let her be a kid and doesn't need to do anything extra other than being a kid. I don't understand why any parent would buy a 4 yr old a keyboard or anything expensive that involves lessons. They don't have the attention span for it. That is one reason sports don't usually start until after 4 yrs old. You say you aren't making her do things and that it is her but you even stated that you made her sit at the table and keep practicing and it made her cry. That is forcing a child to do something. 4 yr olds do not understand giving up and that it's not alway good to do that. Give her time and stop getting her everything she wants.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:33 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • do not tell her she is smart. there has been a lot of research showing that children who are told they are smart are afraid to try hard/difficult things because they don't want to fail and then confirm their fear that they are not really as smart as their parents say. See this article for a summary

    Instead praise her for the effort and point out that her success is a result of the practice and effort.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • maybe I shouldn't ask people that obviously don't instill any sense of accomplishment into their children a question like this. Because everyone just assumed the worst didn't they. They assumed that I got her a keyboard because I do...but I don't play keyboard. They assume that I bought her an expensive keyboard but I did not I got her a little kids keyboard that lights up on the keys she's supposed to press to play a song. And I didn't force her. I said down with her and said let's keep on trying you can do it you just have to practice. But she wanted to watch t.v. which is why she cried. I don't just let my kid do whatever she wants I want her to be responsible. And no matter what you all think...she's actually sitting next to me playing the wheels on the bus on her new kiddie keyboard & she loves it. So obviously my talking to her & practicing w/her worked.

    Answer by jfblaine at 10:00 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • And i don't get my kid everything she wants tyfry. Some people just need to learn to stop judging everything about someone's parenting by just one question. Now I remember why I stopped coming to this site. I was tired of reading people attack other people's parenting. I never had it happen to me but it's just dissapointing that you come to your own assumptions.

    Answer by jfblaine at 10:09 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.