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Is he doing this on purpose, is he just clueless or am I taking offense?

My DH has been saying little things to upset me. Today started out with him telling me about the people he sold his truck to last night. Apparently the woman used to be 400 lbs and got gastric bypass surgery and is now smaller than my skinny sister! He asked me is that something I would want to do (I am not THAT big! I am 200 lbs and 5'9") And then he goes on to tell me how neat and organised their house is and they have 3 kids plus she works, but it looks nice. I have a toddler and it's hard to keep up sometimes. We just moved in this place last week and our bedroom still isn't unpacked and I am having issues just cleaning up after DD!
Am I reading too much into this or were these digs at me?
We have been having problems lately. Neither one of us is happy in the marriage right now, we are being civil, no arguing or anything, but things have got very cold between us. I have been sleeping on the couch for 2 weeks.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I think he's being an ass. My hubby can be that way. I just tell him that if he don't like it, then get another wife...but if ya'll are having problems, that might not be what to do. Sit down and talk about what ya'll can do to make it better. Try to keep the house( I know it's hard, I have three kids) See if he will go on walks with you, that's all my doc says I need to do to loose some pounds. If ya'll love each other then try your best to fix what he might not like. It sucks...but you are the one who is going to have to just don't do that.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 1:36 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • If this hurt your feelings babe then you need to talk to him about it! Husbands usually know that comparing you to another woman (in our house at least) would be a good enough reason for a fight. Although, with that being said, sometimes my husband says things just to have a conversation. Sometimes he says silly things and doesn't realize he's offended me so I've learned when he's being an ass or really just wanting conversation. It is possible that he was just trying to make conversation (even though he did it silly, if thats the case) since you guys have been cold towards each other. If I were you, I'd just talk to him about it and let him know that you don't appreciate being compared to someone else like that!

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 1:41 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I'm not sure he is intentionally saying it to upset you, I suppose that would depend on the tone of his voice, etc, but it does seem like something is on his mind.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 1:47 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • He was just making observations and comparisons. Men are stupid like that

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:24 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Sometime my DH says things like that to try to make me feel better! He will point out better housekeepers and skinnier girls and act like it bugs him. It usually makes me feel worse but I see he is trying to make me feel like he would rather have it our way.

    So, its all in the approach. If he is acting impressed by these things than he may be dropping hints. If he is acting like the woman spends more time cleaning than with her children, then it may be his silly dumb way of complimenting you.

    Either way, you need to let him know "Ya know, something you said has been bothering me and I just wanted to double check the way you meant it."

    Answer by jenellemarie at 3:23 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I don't think he meant them as digs. But it sounds like he's thinking he wishes you were more like her.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:14 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

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