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What Should I Do?

I'm a step mom to two wonderful kids. However, as a stepmom, I don't know my limitations. I seriously can not stand the emotional and verbal abuse my stepkids are going through via their bio mom. My stepdaughter has been called bitch, whore, annoying, fat and many more names. While my stepson is not getting the help he needs (as he has OBD) along with being called names by the bio mom. I've kept my mouth closed tightly for so so long, only because as of right now we are not in a home big enough for a family of 2 adults & 3 children (as I have a child of my own from their father). I have even let the woman berate and yell at me, only because of fear that she would keep them from my husband. What can I do? Other than bide our time til I get a job and we move to a larger home? I need reassurance and opinions. I mourn for my stepchildren and fear their safety as their mother is an alcoholic and drug abuser as well as allowing...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Allow them in your home as much as possible, let them study, hang out, eat, ect at your house so they only have to go to their bio moms to sleep. Is hubby paying child support? if that stopped would it be enough to allow you to move? if so try to get custody so that you can do it. Being crammed into a small, but loving home is in my opinion better than all the space in the world. One of my friend in HS slept in the living room on a pull out sofa-bed and his best friend was sleeping on the floor in the hallway of his (my friend) house because it was better than staying with his mother. Neither would have left for the world, because they were happy and loved. talk with the kids and see what they want and how far they are willing to go to make it work.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 2:25 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • talk to ur hubbs and file for custody
    good luck
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 2:20 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • i would find room in your home now,even if means sleeping on the coutch if you fear for there danger.if they are old enough the courts will let them decide if there mom ever wanted to fight it.did ur huspand say anything to her about yelling in ur face?
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 2:22 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • strange men constantly in their home. She even had a boyfriend who wasnt working, living in her house that walked around in boxers (with the flaps unbuttoned). I know because he answered the door one day like that and I got a full frontal view.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • No, my husband never said anything. He cant for fear that she'll keep the kids from him. It took alot of self control from myself not to say anything or do anything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Your house is never too smal for your children (step or not) when they are in need...The first priority shouldn't be a bigger house, it should be a good environment for the kids...

    have your husband start the custody process--it can take a long time sometimes...
    I would talk to the kids and let them know that you love them and that you will be there for them no matter what, I wouldnt talk to the bio mom directly-she doesnt seem very rational to me

    Good luck!
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 2:25 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I have to agree with what the other ladies have already posted. Not having enough space is only temporary. How old are the children? If they are old enough, the custody hearing should go smoothly. The judge (if they are of legal age to say) will ask them who they want to live with. That is so awful and I'm sorry your dealing with this!
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 2:30 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • My step kids are 11 and 9.
    Yes, he does pay child support and yes it would be 150 dollars extra in our pocket a week.
    Thank you all...so much. I'll talk to my husband about starting the custody now.
    She already said she would be willing to let the kids live with us....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Well if them children are in DANGER which it sounds to me they are you and your husband (there father) needs to get them children away from there mother. If you have proof that the children are in DANGER then do something about it. Not having room MAKE ROOM if it means that you and your hubby have to move into the living room DO IT. If something really bad happens to them children you and your husband will never forgive yourselves for it. I am a step-mom myself and if my step-children were in this situation they would be under my roof with out a doubt. This is not your fault or your husbands but, these children need you two to help them. If you want to chat email me anytime.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:45 PM on Sep. 12, 2009