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So i am really confused is it wrong to move on?

A little background on this my dh is a jerk he has hit me he calls me names daily and the way he treats me and my son is horrible so I have been wanting out for over a year now and we have been married for almopst two so pretty much after we said I do this monster came with it!!So I am leaving him I am just waiting on this safe house type place to have an apartment available for me and my kids!But I meet someone and yeah I am still married but it has been over for a long time im not even sad that its ending I am relieved!But any who I really like this guy would it be wrong to start seeing him????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Get out first and file for divorce. You are still married and if he finds out while you still live with him and are married to him, it may end up really bad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I would say wait! I think you need time to get over everything that has gone on in your life since you've been married to that monster. Why rush into another relationship?

    Answer by meetzycat at 4:38 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Wait before you jump into another relationship. You need time to figure out who you are and what you will and will not accept in another person. Sometimes we look for a savior when we need to look inside ourselves. What if the new guy turns out to be a jerk. What then. Decide what you are willing to live with and without. If this new guy is a good person, he will not rush you.

    Answer by tweeta at 4:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2009


    Answer by older at 4:52 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I would close this chapter before beginning a new one. But that's just me.

    Good luck, OP and stay safe.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:56 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Just remember that your kiddos may be upset by the transition with the divorce and move. They may need some time to heal with just you. It seems kinda unfair to the kids who may become confused if you begin seeing another man who is not their father. If I were in your situation, I would probably get some counseling for me and my children to heal from the abuse and get myself and the kids settled in our new life. That could take a year or more. My advice would be to be patient, you don't want to end up in the same situation with another abuser by rushing into another relationship w/o doing some deep soul searching. Good luck!

    Answer by kenzie07 at 5:05 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I'd wait to pursue the new relationship.
    He could hold it against you in court, or worse, he could blame the new guy for the decision to move on and hurt you or him (you've already said he's violent with you, so you think this wouldn't push him over to hurt you worse if he found out?)

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 5:11 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Yes you should wait tell you at least leave your DH befor you start dating other men. Truthfully you should wait tell you get a divorce.
    But you sound like you are really young. So leave your DH first.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:57 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I would be very careful. When you seek a divorce there are certain states that look down on 'moving on' before you are divorced, so much so that they will fine you extra and it can leave a possibility for your STBX to sue the new guy for loss of consortium. Be careful, whatever you do.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I would wait too. why would you want to move on so fast.. I know you want out A/S/A/P. just be patient butterfly!! ((GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THOES WHO WAIT)) xoxo

    Answer by Linsigirl26 at 7:19 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

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