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My daughter has a friend who is nice but her parents are irresponsible.

They have brought her home late many times and have no rules? What is the best way to handle this with out a big blow out?

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CarmaBird

Asked by CarmaBird at 5:05 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • We sort of deatlt with this growing up too. I had a friend who was nice but her parents let her do ANYTHING.

    Basically, my parents made our home the center of the party so to speak. lol.....they just did their best to make our home the main place to go and stay. Mom was always cooking cool things and taking up cool places.

    They were easy to hang out with and gave us space to be tweens...lol.....

    I know that is not easy for some parents to do, just thought I would suggest it.

    This plan kept me from going over to my friends house so much....lol, and by the way, I didnt know this was the plan at the time, it was my mom and dads idea;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:29 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • My MIL did the same thing for my hub when he was a kid. They had massive D&D parties, lasting all weekend. She would cook a ginormous pot of spaghetti sauce and that's all they'd eat LOL. Totally agree with mom2twobabes. You can't control what other parents do and what goes on in their home, but you CAN control what goes on in yours. When parents are really irresponsible it usually won't matter if you talk to them about it. If they don't act responsibly with their own kid, why would they with yours?
    crittermomma

    Answer by crittermomma at 9:34 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I can totally sympathize. I am what you would classify as a mama bear. In which case, both of our girls (9 & 16) have cell phones. Usually, if they are going to be late, our girls will call us. There have been times that their friends' parents have 'lost track of time'. We see it like this, once is an honest mistake, but more than that without calling us? Unacceptable! From that point we usually try to get their friends to come to our house, or meet somewhere (like the movie theatre, skating rink, etc) and we will pick up our kids.
    As far as the parents with no rules. This was a hard one for me because I am a firm believer in stability and rules. With that, we have had to make our girls understand that every parent believes in their own thing and that rules are different. However, regardless of where they are, they are expected to follow our house rules. Good luck.
    bracketrat

    Answer by bracketrat at 10:05 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Honestly I would simply invite the child to my home but not allow my child to go with them.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:06 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • We're dealing with this now - my 9yo has a 10yo friend whose parents let her get away with everything. DD and I are close, so she tells me most of what is going on. The girl is ahead of her years (risque Truth or Dare, looking up sex videos on the internet - she showed my daughter a video about how to put a condom on) and the parents are oblivious.

    We've been generally countering invitations to her house with invitations to ours, and making it exciting and fun. No cable TV or internet without asking, and we're always within earshot. It seems to be working...
    clevermom

    Answer by clevermom at 1:03 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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