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My son is 18 years old. He just started his first year of college and has had a steady girlfriend for three years. He also has a job two to three times per week, as needed. He has always been a wonderful and respectful son but I have not spoken to him or seen him since May. It is now September. I call him daily, like I always have, and leave a voice mail asking him to call me when he gets a moment or two to spare. I just want to know how life is going. He moved in with my ex-husband to be closer to his job and to college but he ony lives about fifteen minutes away from me. I really do not understand what is going on with him. My divorce from his father was not a peaceful divorce, as his father was having an affair with his coworker and left me one night to go live with his girlfriend. My son lived with me until he needed to be closer to school. I do not bad mouth his father like his father did me. Help me get an insight please

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • i dont know mom,but we all do that,i sometimes forget to call my mom after she leaves me messages and when i do call she is freaking out saying she didnt know if i was ok,im 30 and what im trying to say is you will never stop caring and worring for your kid,but us kids we just move on and start a new life and forget theres someone out there that we mean the whole world to.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 8:15 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Kids just get busy. I do this with my grandkids. He will respond when he has time. I leave messages on one grandson's myspace and send txt messages to another. I usually just say "hi". I figure no news is good news so if they don't respond that means they are fine.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:25 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I haved learned if you don't call them they will eventually call. So try not to call for a while. I know it hurts but its normal.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • MOM, ALL I CAN SAY IS TO NEVER GIVE UP ON HIM, KEEP ON CALLING, TRY TO FIND OUT THROUGH A FRIEND MAYBE HOW HE IS DOING, IF ONLY TO EASE YOUR WONDERING MIND. I DON'T THINK I COULD GO THAT LONG WITHOUT HEARING FROM HIM, I WOULD HAVE GONE TO HIM AND FOUND OUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN PERSON, BUT THAT IS JUST ME. I DON'T CARE HOW BUSY KIDS GET, SPECIALLY IF HE WAS A WONDERFUL SON BEFORE, SOMETHING IS NOT KOSHER, FIND OUT BEFORE RESENTMENT KICKS IN. GOOD LUCK!
    older

    Answer by older at 10:24 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Wow that is a long time! Talk to his father and figure it out! Do something! You won't regret it! That is your son and grown or not he should let you know he's okay once in a while!
    AidensMommy20

    Answer by AidensMommy20 at 7:01 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • You have not talked to him since May and you still call him everyday. Try not calling. Maybe he will wonder what is up with you and even call to see if you are all right. Everyday is TOO MUCH. Set up a time to talk once a week and decide in advance who will call whom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Try email and then only once a week. Let him know that you're worried but you know he's busy.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 1:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Let him know that your hurt and don't understand what you've done to receive such disrespectful treatment. On the other had Mom, he needs space, give it to him. He's going into a different faze of his life and so are you, I know it's difficult (because I have a similar situation). But we have to let our children grow up in their own way. If you had a good relationship with him before he'll come back , but realize and accept the relationship will be different. He's an adult.
    Phase3

    Answer by Phase3 at 2:03 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • iM SORRY BUT FOR RIGHT NOW i HAVE TO AGREE WITH*OLDER* MY KIDS ARE NOT IN COLLEGE . BUT THEY WILL BE SOMETIME IN THEIR LIFE NOT SOON THOUGH THEY ARE STILL A LITTLE YOUNG.BUT WHEN THEY GO AND IF THAT HAPPENS TO ME I WILL END UP DOING THAT MYSELF FOR SURE .GOOD LUCK
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:31 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • WOW 4 months..my mom would have came looking for me. Hmm maybe he's busy..just be patient
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

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