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From your experience...what is your advice?

I am 20 and my SO is 23. He is a year and a half away from graduating college. I will be attending college still. But we will have extra loan money for other expenses. Everything taken care of. I will also be living with him this coming January. We want to get married, but his dad said that he thinks we should wait until he graduates. Also, his mother hates me. But then again, she hates everyone so its nothing new.

Did any of you get married at a young age? Was it a good choice or not so much? If someone came to you for advice (like me) what would you tell them?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I would wait personally. At least until after he graduates. It will be enough for him to be focusing on finishing school, but then to have his mother harping in his ear about getting married against her wishes and all, you would hate for that to effect his education.


    The other thing you can do is do a JOP ceremony and not tell anyone and then do a normal wedding for family purposes. It may work better for your taxes as well. I know people who have done that too.


    That said, I got married when I was in my late 20's. There is no way in hell I would have been ready to marry at 20, much less 23. Good luck.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I would tell them to follow their heart. I will someday tell my children to not plan everything. If you always make a plan you can sometimes fail to see and receive the beautiful gifts that God is trying to bless you with. I have seen people plan everything, until finally their lives just fell apart. Me and my husband got married young, and it hasn't always been easy, but we are still going strong. We kind of grew up together and I cannot imagine my life without him. I think that it is more important to ask yourself "why" you are getting married. Is it for the right reasons? Do you see similarities between the values and morals that you both have? How many kids do you each want? Are you in agreement? Do you see "good" in him? Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide :)
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:24 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I got married at 18. Just a few months after turning 18 actually. There have been some rough patches. But nothing we couldn't work out. I personally think getting married young is a good choice. But that's just me. I know there are some people who think you should wait until you are more "mature". But every one is different. My MIL hates me. And that was part of the reason hubby knew i was the one! lol. Good luck!
    Ali-Rippy

    Answer by Ali-Rippy at 11:24 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I got married when I was 22 and my hubby was 19. I think we made a good choice but everyone is different. I think you should live with him for at least a year because living with someone can definatley change your view either for better or worse. My husband and I talked about everything before we got married. We lived with eachother for a almost 2 years and dicussed how we would disciplne our future children, our morals, religious beliefs, finances (you should know your boyfriends credit score before you get hitched), where we wanted to be in five years. You should basically have most of the same core values because it will cause conflict farther down the road
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 11:27 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I was 20 hubby was 22 we will be married 5 years in a few days. We have 5 kids.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:27 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I got married at a week after my 21st birthday (don't know if you consider that young). I would say let him graduate and then get married. While I could not be happier in my marriage, I look at young adults who were our age when we got married and I think "were we that young?" . We are 30 now and it seems like we were almost babies when we got married. So even if you wait two years, you will still have many, many, many years to enjoy each other.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 11:30 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Oh. Also forgot to mention hubby and i will be celebrating our 5 yr anniversarry january 1st and we have 2 kids and one angel baby together. And are talking about more kids in the near future...
    Ali-Rippy

    Answer by Ali-Rippy at 11:31 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Man y'all are making me feel like an old maid. I am anon at :23 and that last little bit of my post was about me personally. I know many people that married young and are still going strong. I just wasn't in a place for that (thinking back on who I was with at the time).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Oh yeah, we were 20 years old when we got married and we have been married 14 years. Like the PP, 20 seems so young. We do look back and laugh at how innocent we were, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I almost think that the innocence and ignorance is what kept us together, lol. If we had known better, I don't think we would have stuck it out. That sounds bad, doesn't it...
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:38 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I was 21 one i got married. I'm only 22 now. ...But i think it depends on the person. some people ...well, they just cant handle it. ...Others ...others have been waiting for it their whole lives.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:40 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

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