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I don't understand why I feel so hurt...

I have a friend from HS that I am very close to still, she is my son's Godmother and for the most part has been a fantastic friend. I admit she has peanut butter thighs (smooth and easy to spread) but other than that she's pretty great.

My son's father raped me (shoved his penis in my face until I gave in) and still denies it saying that I took a condom or a tissue he had been using with his then PREGNANT wife and shoved it up myself and that's how my son got here.
He's still married to his wife and paying child support pretty regularly and not bothering me with any sort of visitation or custody issues.

Recently my friend told me that she slept with my son's father and is now pregnant with his child.

I am not jealous of her but I am upset with her and I'm not sure why. I am also not sure how to talk to her about this sore spot. Does anyone have any advice?

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RoRoMommy

Asked by RoRoMommy at 11:22 PM on Sep. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I have a very strong dislike for my daughter's father but that doesn't mean I want him off making children with other people. This situation would bother me because that's just another little brother or sister (well half) running around. Eventually, your child will have to know about them and possibly want to meet them. If it was one of my friends having his baby, I'd freak out on them and probably never speak to her again.  You just don't do that.

    MarleighsMommy

    Answer by MarleighsMommy at 11:26 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • So, did you know he was married when you hooked up?

    IDK what to say. If he was married it's not like he was yours to begin with (and from what you say, he doesn't seem like someone you would want to fight over either). Maybe is it about feeling that this might take away from your child support? (and I don't mean that in a rude way, but let's face it, when raising kids every penny counts)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Is she the competitive type? Would she have gotten together with him just because you did?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • She sounds disgusting. I personally, would not consider her a friend.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:32 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • WOW that is so wrong. For her to know that you got raped by this man, then got herself in the situation and did it with him? WTF! If he didnt rape her too, then that's just wrong either way. I would never speak to her again. I would be extremely upset if my best friend went to my DD's father and is pregnant with his baby. Oh my lord I can't even imagine. I'd beat the hell outta her. Sorry..that's just me. I'd be furious.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • wow, so much for loyalty huh?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • She sounds like a very bad friend and a horrible godmother for your child. I would just cut off all ties with her! You poor girl!
    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 11:53 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • Just for more information: I was friends with his wife and we were supposed to go and do something together and I was early and waiting for her to get home.She told me to wait in the living room and left the door unlocked. He husband came in early home from work. I talked to him nicely for a moment or two and he left. He came back with just boxers on and I was like okay... He went in the other room and came back after a few minutes and sat next to me. I ignored him and he started making comments toward me. I moved in the other room and told him to stop. I tried to get to the door, he blocked and I ran upstairs to the guest room and locked the door. The door lock was broken but I didn't know that and he walked right in butt naked. He got on top of me and started stripping me while I was crying. He shoved his penis in my face and told me I wanted it. I said no but eventually said "Ok fine whatever." Now my son is here.
    RoRoMommy

    Answer by RoRoMommy at 11:53 PM on Sep. 12, 2009

  • I think maybe you are more upset that your friend would go and be with someone that she more than likely KNOWS what he did to you......He isnt a good man, and even though your friend may be a little fast, she could have gotten with anyone but the guy that raped you. YOu could bring it up to her just like that...."ya know suzie, it really hurt me that you intentionally went and slept with the guy who raped me " kwim??? We wont really talk about what I think about guys like that
    SuperMomof3kids

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 12:40 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Wow, what a jerk off. Karma will take care of him.
    As for your friend, she isn't much of a friend if she knew what he did to you and even placed herself in a situation where she could be alone with him. I think if I were you I would feel betrayed because it's almost as if her giving an opportunity for him to screw her (how ever it happened) that she either didn't listen to you when you told her what happened, or she didn't believe you. I would feel confused if I were you too.
    If you are religious, you could seek counseling from your clergy, maybe they could help you work out your feelings.

    If you aren't religious, you could always call a rape crisis hotline and ask for a therapist to talk to.
    They might have a better understanding of what you are going through.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

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