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My SO told me he thought I'd be a better mother, I've never been more hurt. Also what can I give my 1 week old for constipation?

My 1 week old is fussy and I had a c-section so he does a lot for her. She is constipated which keeps her up at night. I usually sleep more at night and he is up with her. Last night he looked at me while holding her and told me he thought I would have been a better mother. I have felt like a failure cuz I had to have a c-section and because I can't get her to latch on to me and now I am a failure because I don't do enough for her. I'm so hurt I can't stop crying. I thought he wouldn't mind because he knows how I'm healing but I guess because I look a lot better he assumes I am. I just needed to unload. I'm so upset and hurt. He won't talk to me or look at me or touch me.

In addition is there anything I can do to help my baby poop? I don't want to give her any juice or anything, just milk, but is there a medicine that will work? I'm scared she is giving herself a hemorrhoids.(Sp?)

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gottalovemal

Asked by gottalovemal at 8:31 AM on Sep. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 17 (3,311 Credits)
Answers (64)
  • try to pump some milk for her.. breastmilk may help her poop. as for ur husband i think hes just mad bc hes doing it all. hes ignorant and selfish if u ask me. I had 2 c sections and they arent easy to get over. it wasnt ur choice to have one so dont worry about it. u still gave birth to her! U dont want to do so much right now anyway. i did too much and i got an infection. Does he not understand its acutal surgery? u need to rest and be carful just bc he acting like a douch doent mean push urself too much let him fight with his self. Tell him to quit acting like a middle schooler and tell u what his problem is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Yes, sweetie, there is something that you can do to help baby poop. When she starts to strain trying to poop - couple her little feet in you hand and push her knees up towards her chest (sides of her chest). This will give her something to push against to help her strain.

    As for you SO - what a jerk! NO ONE knows how to be a "good mom" when they've had a WHOLE week of experience. It takes time and learning. You tell that jackass to kiss your a33. Having had a c-section - it is his responsibility to help (this is his child and his family). Tell him to grow a grown up pair and get over himself ( of course take into account if he has been the one doing a lot for the baby over the last week- he may be a little sleep deprived) IF that is the case - let him get some rest and only set him straight AFTER he's rested and you're calm.

    Good luck Hon.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 8:37 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • also a lil prun juice is better then meds. once oz of that shes good to go... give her a warm bath. lay her down push her legs into her belly not too hard that she will cry but just enough to get the insides moving around
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Sorry - it looks like I lost almost all of my Rs in that post. LOL It's early.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 8:39 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Please do not give a 1 week old prune juice, try to pump a little breast milk if you can, if not call the pediatrician. Your SO had no idea babies were gonna require so much work! I am sure he is whining because you are unable to do as much as a mom who didn;t have a C-section. The good news is in a couple of days, you will feel much better. I would try to blow off the comment if you can, no need to have a major argument when you are in this kind of shape. The baby blues are pretty common, and if you are feeling really low pleas call your doc, after my DS was born, I had to take meds to get over it! Take care and god Bless you! Also, you might want to chang formula, DS stopped being constipated after a switch to Enfamil.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:45 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • 1. He needs to apologize, or go have his abdomen cut open and insides shoved around and sewn back up. Although, the person who mentioned that he is also sleep deprived is right.
    2. She may not be truly constipated. Babies act like that when pooping, all squirmy, grunting and turning red until they mature a little bit.
    3. IF she breastfeeding well, she shouldn't be constipated. If she is taking an iron-rich formula, ask the pedi if you can change to a low iron formula for a little while.
    4. Babies VERY OFTEN stay up at night. They are all mixed up. There is nothing you can do this early to get her to sleep through the night. My suggestions are to try to play with her during the day, when she is awake to eat, and be quiet/ soft/ and keep the lights down low at night and try not to stimulate her/play too much at night.
    ((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to you.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 8:53 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • u act like i said give her 5 oz of prun juice. 1 oz is NOT goin to hurt the baby im sure she wouldnt drink it all anyway plus i did say breast milk 1st ....try to see if u can get her on ur breast now sometimes it may work
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • That is OUTRAGEOUS!!!! You are 1 week postpartum, recovering from a C SECTION and he has the balls to say that to you!!!! Don't you let ANYONE tell you that you're not the best mom ever! C sections don't make you a bad mother, lots of women have them for a variety of reasons - I had one myself. Breast feeding is hard too, and it takes a while for a you AND the baby to learn how to make it work. You should be getting all the rest you can and if he's complaining about having to help out then that makes him a crappy dad! You have every right to rest - you are recovering from MAJOR abdominal surgery (they had to cut through muscule to get to your uterus), you have a new baby, you're body is trying to produce milk, and you're trying to be super woman and do it all!!!! Please, please, please, don't listen to that jerk. Tell his mother what he said, she'll straighten him out!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:57 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • I don't blame you for being upset and of course you are hurt. I'm sorry but no decent person would have said that. Of course you are both stressed and tired but there is no excuse for that crap.
    Personally, I'd be the one not speaking to him. Have you called the pedi yet? They can give you some ideas of what is best to do at this age. She won't get hemorroids so don't worry about that right now. Most babies have had constipation issues at one time or another.
    You said you can't get her to latch on so are bottle feeding? If so, does the formula you use have iron added to it? If so try using one without the iron for a bit. At this age sometimes the iron is to much for their system. If nothing works the Dr will give you suppositories. No drugs in them, they are just glycerin to help lube things up.
    Good luck and just ignore your SO, he is an idiot. You didn't do anything wrong.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 8:59 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Take a rectal temp. That stimulates the bowels making your baby poop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Sep. 13, 2009

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