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My husband says he doesn't think he loves me. Yet he doesn't want me to leave why?

If you read my other post your know my concerns about his new friend. Well now after a small fight he said he needs time to think.

Three nights in a roll now he has told me it'll be ok we are going to work things out then the next morning he is really mean. Yesturday morning he text me from work after too say "I don't think I'm in love with anymore" after we'd "been together" the night before.

When he got home he said again he wanted to work things out. Then this morning once again he was very mean very cold and said he doesn't know what he wants. He text me from work to say "do you think we can fix this" I text him back "yes I'll do what it takes I'll c hange. Do you?" and he never text me back.

My nerves are shot I'm a mess I haven't ate for 3 days I'm just falling apart. I love him so much I don't want the last 8 years to mean nothing and its killing me!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Sep. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I feel like I can't breath, like I'm dying inside. I don't know how to live without him. I've never had to. Our poor kids they are falling apart too. My oldest is only 6 and cries so much. Oh god it hurts.

    Answer by somebody2009 at 6:15 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • I know I shouldn't but I begged him to say with me. I don't want my babies to be from a broken home. :~~~~( I can't stop crying.

    Answer by somebody2009 at 6:16 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Obviously he isn't sure if he wants to be with you or not. And for you to sit around and wait on him to make up his mind is just pathetic! Telling him that you'll change, you'll do whatever you have to just to keep him when he keeps telling you that he wants to be with you and then changing it again and saying he doesn't know, thats also pathetic. You need to grow up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Why does your six year old know whats going on? That would be a HUGE no no in my house. In my opinion a six year old has no business knowing anything about what is going on with you and your husband and to be honest I agree with Anon 6:16. Grow up. You are not going to die if he leaves. You will be fine. It may not seem like that right now but eventually you'll be better off for it. Since he isn't being honest, if he was then he wouldn't be so back and forth, it sounds to me like he just likes the drama and you do nothing but feed into it.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 6:19 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Well first off, I wouldn't stand for the crap he is pulling. Give him an ultimatum... You or leave. Don't settle for this crap, you deserve better. There is one choice... He either takes it or leaves.. end of story..

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • I think that you all need some serious family counseling.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:25 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Not having a man/SO/husband is NOT the worst thing in the world. In fact, it can actually be a blessing in disguise since your miserable and even moreso, it's affecting your children. Right now he sounds VERY confused, but that doesn't mean he can do the yo-yo thing with you and the kids. He needs some time to think, definitely - but ON HIS OWN - he needs to go stay somewhere else for at LEAST a few weeks to try to get his head together. I just read an article yesterday about women (or men) begging to have their partners come back, that they'll do anything. Bottom line, once you do this and give up your integrity and self-esteem, it RARELY works. If you don't respect yourself, no one else - especially your husband - will either. As hard as it will be, you need to make a stand. In the long run, it will be better, you and your children will be better - in time...

    Answer by edcmyangels at 6:28 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Umm yea sounds like some fishy business is going on and he wants to be able to continue that without being alone in the home. I wouldnt stand for it. It will take alot to get over but the best thing for you to do is probably just leave... there is only so many times a person can hear I am leaving you over and over before it breaks them. Just next time he tells you that tell him to leave. You dont deserve the heartache.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • YOU are making your 6 yr old cry. Cut it out. You are damaging the relationship with your emotional neediness. Stop it. No wonder he wants to leave. Suck it up and wipe your tears. They are only getting on his nerves and upsetting your kid. That's obviously what you want, drama queen. Get some dignity about yourself. You told the man you'd change? What are you thinking? change? Change what? You are who you are. Maybe this changing crap is what is making him want to leave. He's not in love with you anymore bc he probably has no clue who you are. I bet you have not acted like this in the entire 8 yrs. Grow a backbone. Show him you are strong and a woman who can be his partner not some emotional albatross around his neck smothering him and dragging him down. Stand up, hold your shoulders back and be a wife, mother and a woman not some needy clingy sap of a baby herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • I think some of these posts could be worded a little nicer. I dont see the point in kicking someone while they are down. Ive had my share of bad breakups and so i know your having strong feelings right now. The thing is life WILL go on after things end and it definitly looks like things are going to end. My personal advice? If he is cheating on you, you need to respect yourself enough to end the relationship. Yes it will be hard, it could be the hardest thing you ever do. Grieve the end of it as long as you need but then you need to live your life for you.
    You do seem to have lost your self respect and no man is worth all the emotional turmoil you are putting yourself through. just let go.

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 8:10 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

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