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Father visitations,child support or not

Here is a brief over view of my situatuion,. i moved out of state to be closer to my parents to help with my baby. all through my pregnancy the father wanted nothing to do with the baby. he even suggest for me to abort her naturally. when i did nothing and kept her he still did nothing for me the whole time. so now he wants me not to go after child support bcause he told me he will go for full visitations if i do. he wants us to handle it ourselves. now so far he has not given her anything. right he is bought pampers and whipes and cream. and thinks this is the same thing. i am very conflicted. i do not want him alone with her ever and if it goes to court this might happen. what would you all do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Sep. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • If you can handle it all out of court then do so but put EVERYTHING in writing and have it notorized. With that said, if he is buying her the stuff he needs then yes he is helping to support her even if he isn't giving you actual money. It is the same thing. If you go after child support he does have rights as a father to have visitation.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 7:21 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Child support has NOTHING to do with visitation, they are seperate cases and you often need a lawyer for visitation cases, not so for child support. The STATE will go after parents for child support, the only time they go after parents for visitation is if they take a child illegally(kidnap).

    Go for child support, your child is entitled to it...this is not for you this is for your baby. If he wants to go for visitation, well thats up to him and will cost him a fortune in court costs.

    My best friend is going through this right now with her 2 kids.

    Answer by tabi_cat1023 at 7:21 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • If it goes through court child support AND visitation will all be handled at once , not separately. If it goes through an agency that only handles child support then yes he would have to go through court to get visitation. But to be honest with you if he's paying support then he does have a right to see his child.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 7:23 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • If you can do it without his help than do it. If he pays for child support he DOES have a right to see her. I'd think long and hard. Do you even want him in her life and yours for that matter? If not than I'd just leave it be and not have further contact with him.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 7:28 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Thanks. it is just a agency for child support. and I guess if he does want visitations he would need a lawyer and such and i have a very good one so i have no worries on my end. just don't want her leaving the state. he keeps on the subject of me leaving her with him which i give him all the oppotunites to see her. i will just be with her when she visits. i wont allow it. not unless a court orders me to do it. no way. he can kidnap her with out the legal paper. so i am going to go for support and if he takes me to court i think i am going to take my chances. i think it will come out in my favor. i am a fighter and he will not win this one. i always been the one wanting him in her life but now he is being complicated and going back on what he told me. he told me i have all say if we kept this out of court. doesn't seem that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • and one 16oz cream for her is not the same as money for her. i wanted a bank account for her college. not cream. its a little pathetic.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • if you are out of state allready and he didnt protest he cant make you move back
    file for child support i learned the hard way they never follow through when they say they wanna work it out between you, and when you file for child support the visistation is a seperate issue and he would have to file for that in court seperatly on his own. he has a finantial obligation and you have the right to some help, kids are expensive
    good luck

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:48 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • fyi - paying or not he still has the right to see her, but if he wants to force the issue he has to go to court on it

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:48 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • u can have it to were he has to have supervised vistiation

    Answer by angelairelan at 8:15 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • just to clear something up. he has no rights to her. he is not on the birth certificate. and i didn;t know if i went for support the visitations are not together. he would have to file for all that stuff? i thought it was just done with the courts there. well i think i am going to go through with it. its been 6months and its been long enough.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

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