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Pregnant and husband is UNhappy

I just found out I am pregnant the 24th of Aug. My husband seemed alright when I told him,but we talked a few times and he says he is not happy. for a little background info: we were ttc for a few months earlier this year. Then he suddenly announced he was having second thoughts about having a second child right now.( We have a 7 y/o dd) So, I started using film. I really wanted another baby but was willing to wait since he was so adamant about not wanting another one right now. I asked him if he would have been so upset if I had gotten pregnant when we were trying,and he said,"No,it just would have been different." he is acting as though I had an affair or something much worse. He says he isn't mad at me,but he is acting like he doesn't want to be around me much and he doesn't say I love you much lately. I have been so stressed out and afraid of losing the baby because of it.Has anyone gone through this and can offer advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Sep. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • did you try and get pregnant without his consent? I could see that he would be upset about that. If you did not than maybe he is stressing about having another child because of financial issues? I don't know. But maybe you can ask him what he really is afraid of and just listen to his fears. If he doesn't know than maybe just give him time or consider counseling?

    Answer by Precious333 at 10:31 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • aww Im sorry I was the same way with my second I changed my mind and didnt want a baby but my husband did I was so depressed while being pregante and thought I have make a huge mistake having another one. But when he was born the look of him just made me melt and I was happy to think of the future I will have with him, So maybe when once the baby is born he will be happy just by looking at him.

    Answer by mommyofone0724 at 10:31 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Unless you lied to him and told him you were using a form of BC and weren't I can't see how he could be mad at you! It takes TWO to make a baby!! Now being scared and worried about another baby to provide and care for is another thing. If that's the case just give him time, he'll see it's not as bad as he thinks it will be! My DH was horrible during my first pregnancy, having a baby changed our lives: primarily me! He was afraid, but it's worked out!


    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:38 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • ok he wanted another and then couple months go by and he dont ......then he dont say he loves u as much anymore he out a lot? is there someone else in the picture that u dont know about????it seem odd for him to want one and then to not want one hhhmmmm???

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • ive kinda been in that same situation 2 times and it takes time for them to get used the idea of a baby and if a baby is what you want just be happy, he was happy at once an then changed his mind that really isnt fair too you or your family

    Answer by angelnina8715 at 11:15 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • I understand where you are coming from, but don't worry. I was under much more stress and now have a beautiful 6 month old baby girl, and my DH is thrilled about her. He needs to be reminded that it takes more than one person to have a baby and the only sure fire way to make sure you won't get pregnant is not to have sex. Maybe if he realizes that he is half at fault here, he might pick up. He also needs to get over the shock of you being pregnant. For a person who does not want a baby it is a huge shock. He needs time to get over the shock and to settle down. Hopefully he will change his mind once you have the ultrasound and definitely when he sees that baby for the first time. Also, try telling him what you are seeing. He might be so self absorbed thinking about the finances that he does not realize what he is doing to you. I hope all goes well for you. Good luck.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:24 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Thank you to everyone who answered nicely! Just wanted to give an update on this post. Everything is great now. Everyone who thought he just needed time was right! He has told everyone at work,and is excited. He is planning to go to the dr with me when I have a second ultrasound. I don't know why he changed his mind or what made him act differently but Im glad it has worked out well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

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