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How can I explain to my husband that I am terrifed of sex right now?

He keeps wanting sex and trying to talk me into it. I do not want to. It's not because I'm pregnant. It's because of the issues I've already had with this baby. I went to the ER because I was spotting and the baby's heart rate was in the 200s. I was put on bed rest. Since then I've gotten off bed rest and the baby seems fine, but I don't want his or her heart rate getting that high again. In a few weeks I have an appointment where I get to hear the heartbeat and we can see if it's slowed down. But, until then I do not want to risk it. Am I crazy?! He wants it so bad...but I just can't. I would never forgive myself if I had sex and something happened to my baby because of it. I am 11 weeks right now. I've already told him I don't want to risk hurting the little one. Is there anything else I can tell him??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Sep. 13, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • Honestly, that should be enough. If he doesn't understand that, then he must be pretty immature.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Give him some head and see if that helps him. Or maybe just do it missionary, you don't have to exert too much energy for that position. But if you are too concerned, then he'll just have to understand!GL!
    abootie

    Answer by abootie at 11:11 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Some guys are more charged up from the 'pride' of getting their wives pregnant and want sex more. Tell him you don't want to blame him if something happens to baby and you sure could use some hugs and compassion at this scary time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • what does your OB say about this? have you asked him or her if it is safe?
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 11:14 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • give him a blow job
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Yeah, I agree with everyone else saying that you should just give him something other than sex. Give him oral or a handjob and leave it at that. Certainly talk to your doctor about the risks of sex and have him present when you do. If she says it;'s fine and you don't have any more issues afterward it should be fine and you shouldn't worry, if it causes pain, spotting or any problems, you and your hubby need to have a serious discussion.
    kitten_shuga

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 11:33 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • Um Sex won't cause the heart rate to go up. But just be honest with him, or give him a hand or blow job
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:43 PM on Sep. 13, 2009

  • like the others said, but i would tell him he has two perfectly good hands himself
    he should understand your concern, and he should share it imo.
    codysmama2609

    Answer by codysmama2609 at 3:37 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • babys heart rate wont be affected whilst having sex, just either explain it to him she will have to like it or lump it or try different possitions , i dont really want sex due to my big bump but its been fun trying different possitions to suit me for a change lol good luck xx
    happymam2b

    Answer by happymam2b at 6:23 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the oral sex suggestion. men have to go through a lot of changes during pregnancy also..emotional and physical. and after all, we are all human and we do have needs! i think that you could definitely do missionary...just dont have him bang your brains out! if you just make love it may take a little longer, but you both can get some well needed pleasure and you wont harm the baby. if you really are just too precautious and you want to wait, just keep him satisfied. an empty man is a happy one! if you just do something for him every couple days it'll hold him over until you're in the safe zone for some lovin. good luck, hope you figure something out!
    SammyJoB

    Answer by SammyJoB at 8:00 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

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