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At what age would you allow your daughter to date???? And why??

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phelmick

Asked by phelmick at 12:51 AM on Sep. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • I'm really torn on that right now because they are 8, but I've been thinking about it because it's gonna come someday. I'm thinking around driving age maybe even 17. I really need to see how trust worthy they become. Right now they are doing very adolescent things like lying and testing their boundaries. When that time comes they better have an itinerary ready with phone numbers....lol.  I'm very protective, but I know I need to let them grow up. I just don't want any grand kids in 8 years. 

    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 12:57 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Geez that's a hard one. I was 13 when I had my first so called boyfriend. My daughter is 11, and she asked me the other day how old I was when I had my first boyfriend I told her 16 cause I think that's a good age,not too young, but it also depends how trustworthy she is. : ) hope that helps
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • My dd is 15, almost 15 1/2, and in 10th grade. My ds is 16 1/2, and in 11th grade. I allowed him to start dating last year (with controls and guidelines, of course). Our dd can do the same - she can date this year.

    Now, there are rules involved, and, for the most part, it's the same for them both.

    1 - we meet the person, and we know where they're going, what they're going to be doing, and when they'll be back.

    2 - they can't hang out at anyone's house without a parent present, and we meet the parent(s). Of course, there are exceptions (my ds dated a girl last yr who had a half sister in her late 20's / early 30's - if she was there, then the parents didn't need to be).

    3 - no "car dating" alone. We (or another parent) could drop off / pick up, or, if we knew the other people as well, they could double date. But not just for "cruising" and stuff - things like to and from a dance, etc.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:15 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • cont

    Now our ds can "car date" (though we're now stationed overseas and driving age in the host country is 18, so American teens can only drive on base, so that limits the car dating anyway...). Next year, when she's 16 and in 11th grade, our dd can car date, too.

    I think it's good that they be allowed to explore dating and relationships as a teen while the parents are still there to be able to help keep an eye on things and make sure they don't get in over their heads or in trouble or anything, instead of saying you can't date until you're an adult, then they're "on their own" and can get in over their heads.

    Of course, we can take away the dating privilege if their actions show they aren't mature enough to handle it. It also helps that we have a good relationship with them and they talk to us about stuff like dating and etc.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:20 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • OH - lol - one other thing -

    While we fully understand that once they're an adult this will be a different situation, but while they're teens, we feel that there is still too much growth and development going on, so we have a rule - they can only date someone within a 2 yr range of them. Much more than that and, generally speaking, there is going to be way too much difference in maturity levels for it to be healthy at this age.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:23 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • wow a toughie....well i have no say when my daughter gets a boyfriend...i cant see what happens at school....but as to actually go out along with said boy on a date? not till she is sixteen!
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 5:32 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I will let them start dating at 14, my husband has a problem with it but he has a big double standard when it comes to our kids, our son wtarted dating when he was 13 and hubby was fine with that but when the girls are old enough I know we will have problems.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:01 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • WOW 13 and 14 are very young to be dating. I started "car" dating when I was 16, when I was 15 Mom would drop me off at the movies to meet my boyfriend, and I imagine it will be much the same for my daughter.
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 7:03 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • i have no idea, just because i remember how me and my husband were when we started "going out". i was 14 he was 16, we had sex like a couple of weeks before my 15th b-day, sooooo im thinking things might get a little crazy around here when atleast my daughter gets to that age. the things im hearing about kids that young getting pregnant scares the crap outta me, i was 19 when i had my daughter but also i was an adult on my own.i think daddy will lock her in her room and throw away the key....lol.
    kd2kds

    Answer by kd2kds at 7:50 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I will allow my kids to go on "group dates" when they start highschool - at 14. But one on one car dates will wait until they are 16, for my daughter the guy will come pick her up at our house and come inside so we can meet him and for my son and daughter they will have reasonable curfews depending on what their plans are for the evening.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:29 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

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