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Why do I feel alittle jealous?

Would you get somewhat jealous if your dh seemed like he favored his first bio kids more than his second bio kids (with me). They are teenagers now and don't get to see them everyday maybe 2 to 3 times a month. While us living as a family our kids are in elementary they are bad sometimes (but that is what kids do) He tends to yell and spank them :( and that is where I feel hurt I understand he doesn't see his first kids but at the same time he needs to dicipline our kids. What can I do to stop thinking stupid like this...I need him as their dad he can controll them compared to me. I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish he would treat them like his older kids as though he didn't see them as often either...Help! and Thanks for listening.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Sep. 14, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • There are a few things you need to remember..

    1. The other kids are teens, and although teens can have thier own set of issues they are usually a little easier then elementary kids.

    2. He doesn't see his teens everyday, they don't have has many oppurtuntities to push dad's buttons as the the two of yours do.

    3. Was he the same with his older kids when they were little (insert question mark)

    I would however talk to him, about the spanking (I am not opposed to spanking) but if you feel he is stepping over a line then as the mom you need to step in and explain what the issue is.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 5:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • though situation
    i wishi had some advice but i really dont know

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:54 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • It seems divorced parents try to be the fun parents when they see them a few times per month. Talk to DH about this .

    Answer by mommorgan at 10:04 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • You are not alone, my DH a wonderful man, treats his son totally different than his older son who does not live with us. He is much harder on my son who lives with us than he is on his older son who does not live with us. I wish I had advise for you but I do not. Stay strong!

    Answer by dillonsma at 12:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Tell him what you see and how you feel, granted he probobly won't listen because he's a man and those *feelings* and *insights* we tend to have fall on deaf ears with them. However he still needs to be aware of how you feel, my husband has a 19 year old and a soon to be 15 year old from his first marriage and our only child together is just a toddler. I know he favors her because she's a baby and frankly teenagers can drive you to your wits end. It could be something as simple as maturity beterrn the kids of the others are older. It could be his guilt over not being able to be there for his other kids as often as he is for yours. I don't doubt he loves any of them more or less than the other but he could very well be feeling guilty and has no other outlet than to focus that resentment onto you and your children. If thats the case and you two discussing it isn't accomplishing anything then look into counseling for the family.

    Answer by GinnyGreer at 1:49 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Don't accept badly behavior in elementary level as normal because it not.  I suggest you discipline your kids a little better so that your husband doesn't spank them and enjoys them as much as his older kids.   


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Sep. 14, 2009