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Has anyone noticed that with talking about divorce older people tell you to work it out for the kids and younger people are like divorce is the best thing that happened to me!?

Isn't there a middle ground? Like, oh that's sucks and it will be hard but you have to figure out what is best for everyone involved?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Sep. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • LMAO so true
    my parentes tried the work it out for the kids approach and it was AWFUL, it never worked out, i was 16 when my mom finally kicked him out and I wished she had done it YEARS earlyer
    better to have 2 loving homes than 1 home that is a battle ground
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 11:01 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • You have to have a good reason to get divorce. Saying we don't love each other is not a good reason. You start to remember why you love him and start dating him again.

    If the man is abusive than you just get out fast!! they will never change.
    I'm 51.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:07 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • People don't want to give a wishy-washy answer like "well you'll need to figure that out" because it just doesn't sound supportive.

    I'm in the work it out camp and I'm 30 so fairly young in terms of married couples. There are always going to be some situation where people can't work it out but that's a tiny minority. Most marriages I see failing are caused by one or both partners being selfish. You can't have a successful partnership and be all about me-me-me all the time.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 11:41 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • There are always going to be some situation where people can't work it out but that's a tiny minority. Most marriages I see failing are caused by one or both partners being selfish. You can't have a successful partnership and be all about me-me-me all the time.
    ___
    I couldn't agree with this more.

    I'm 28 and I'm in the "work it out" camp as well. Not for the kids, but because you just don't give up when things get hard.

    Spend a couple hours browing the quesitons here. People don't really communicate anymore, and they have no idea how to compromise.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:54 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • "Spend a couple hours browing the quesitons here. People don't really communicate anymore, and they have no idea how to compromise. "

    This is so true. If more people communicated with their spouse rather than the people they blog with, maybe the divorce rate would go down.

    when you are mad at your SO, who do you tell? Probably not the SO but everyone else that will tell you what they think you should do rather than telling the person it directly effects and could have a say in how to fix it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • i think they don't answer that way cause they are giving you their personal experience and if you asking that is what you asking about. they don't want to leave hanging with it's all up to you. although in all answers it's always up to you. i have been confused about both.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:38 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I'm old and I think if you are considering divorce you should separate and see if you like it. You won't hear me say stay and work it out for the kids. That would be insulting the kids. They are not stupid and they can possibly do better without all the fighting or tension in the shared home. I think separation helps you see what it's really like without him and helps you decide what you really want.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:05 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • marriage is romanticized. yes it is wonderfull and happy but you get to a point that sacrafices have to be made and both people change. the hard part is changing together to make things work and reliesing if the other person is worth all the work that goes into "making it work" if you love that person enough that you can take all the bad and the good times still come out on top then my friend you have made it. but sometimes thing just dont work. but you lived, you learned, and most important you loved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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