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is dating during divorce ok???

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power2him

Asked by power2him at 11:01 AM on Sep. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Just dating, yes. Getting into another serious relationship, No.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:03 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Well, i got into another serious relationship while divorcing. My divorce took SO LONG, i was not going hold off on a man that i was in love with because my divorce took 1 1/2 years. Everybody is going to have different opinions on the issue, just do what you feel is right in your heart. Live your life, don't hold off because of a legal paper. In your heart you are divorced, that's what matters most.


    BTW, here i am 4 years into my wonderful relationship getting married to a WONDERFUL man, i can honestly say that i am marrying my best friend. Had i not gotten into that relationship DURING my divorce, i would not be the happy camper that i am today.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:09 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I hope you read my answer before you delete it.
    Moving in is a Big Mistake.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:12 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I did. In fact, I moved in with current DH before ex-DH & I were completely divorced. Current DH was still finalizing his divorce as well (his was slightly different in that they had already been living apart for a year when he moved in with me whereas ex-DH & I had only been apart for about 5 months). Would I do it again? HELL, NO. Don't get me wrong--I love my current DH & am so glad that we are together now. I just wish I had had that chance to get my life together on my own, take a deep breath, & then plunge into a new relationship.

    I totally understand the desire behind wanting to date but ask yourself, Are you really able to give everything to a new relationship while you are still dealing with untangling the old one? What would be so wrong with just dating casually & then getting serious after the divorce is final? If your new guy won't stick around that long, he isn't worth it anyway. Good luck!
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 11:18 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • gammie, I moved in w/ my SO when we were only 6 months in & i still had a whole year before the divorce was final. You don't personally know the situation, so how would you know that it is a big mistake? It could possibly be one a good choice, you just never know what's going on in someone's relationships.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:22 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Problems in marriages are never completely one-sided. Both parties contribute to the downfall. For that reason, I believe it is better to spend some time assessing what part you contributed and make the necessary changes. Sometimes, it can be something as simple as not knowing how to correctly draw personal boundaries. I believe that unless you take some time to work on yourself and your contribution to the failed marriage, you will be much more likely to attract the exact same type of man and to repeat your past mistakes.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:42 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I think it depends so much on the circumstances surrounding the reasons for the divorce and how long it's been since the marriage has been over (before or after filing for divorce).

    I agree that if you don't take some time and just start jumping into relationships, that you're likely to repeat the same mistakes.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:57 AM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Don't flaunt it in front of the children. They will retain memories that will shock you.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 12:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • morally it is not right and would do it right in order to be able to face god on my judgement day. i look at it ike this if you meet someone before the divorce and if it's meant to be he will be there after you are free and clear and then at least you know it is meant to be cause it's still available to you. if not then there is someone better.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:33 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • samurai you are 100% right I do not know her situation. But I know it's not good for the women and if their are kids to see their mom going to one bed to another to soon.
    If you make a mistake you just leave again. But the kids are the ones who get hurt the most.
    All I'm saying is take your time.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:39 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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