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Did you know that adoption laws are different in each state?

Apparently, some people think adoption laws are the same in each state in America. They are not. Laws that dictate acceptable expenses for pregnant women considering adoption, revocation times, the access of adoption records and many other items vary a great deal from state to state. Many moms here at Cafemom keep saying that certain practices ALWAYS happen. I guess they just don't know that adoption laws vary in each state.

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Asked by Southernroots at 12:40 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,433 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • I guess they don't either, lol. I don't know anything about adoption so thanks for informing me!

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 1:19 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Yes,thank you for posting this in a prominent manner.


    Answer by drfink at 2:36 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • You're both welcome! It doesn't surprise me that people with no ties to adoption are unaware that adoption laws vary from state to state. However, I have to wonder how educated adoptive parents are who do not know that laws differ. It makes me wonder if they base all their opinions on their one experience with adoption.

    Answer by Southernroots at 4:09 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I have wondered the same thing. I have known there was a wide variation in state laws and some of the differing laws .After some of the 'discussions" here I became more curious. It is all so easy to find; including each states regulations regarding a licensed agency or adoption provider. This will even describe if a lawyer or counseling etc. is required,how much, who may provide it ,who monitors it and even how important is that regulation is to remaining licensed. In a lot of states ,regulations directly impacting the pregnant women are in the moderate low category .It has been sometimes surprising that there are those that assume I or others are making stuff up rather than realize things can be different than their own experience.


    Answer by drfink at 4:37 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I think you actually have to go through an adoption to truly realize the difference in laws. When we started, the first thing our agency did was give us a copy of the laws for each state they were licensed in (and therefore we could potentially be place from). When you adopt, the birth mother also can choose whether to terminate her rights in her own state where the child was born or the adoptive parents state (if they're different). I suspect most folks don't know that either. A birth mother might choose to do that to either be allowed to sign sooner or to have a period of time in which to change her mind.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • And in case anyone wonders what the laws are; here's a link to a breakdown, state by state:



    Answer by onethentwins at 5:27 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I have never seen an adoptive parent on here say that she didnt know that laws varied by state...never.

    It is funny to me that you criticize adoptive parents for allegedly not knowing something yet the premise of 90% of the posts on here is that seemingly intelligent english speaking adult women become helpless and blinded when it comes to the most important decision of their lives and suddenly know nothing.

    It doesnt matter what the post is, there has to be a dig against adoptive parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • ANON 5:44, I am one of those 'SO BLINDED', you so diligently speak of. In short, because I feel it is a waste of time when explaining this to you....I never 1 time was told of laws, TPR, given copies, offered counseling, knew of a certain time frame to "consider my rights", was allowed to be given choice of parents..the list goes on and on! 22 yrs+, I find out my twins were not finalized in Az., there is NO court record of their existence. I basically had a young woman, come by, become good friends, and felt talk of therapy, parents, laws, rights to change my nothing..all of this I have learned since June 2008. There must be change..if one is not made aware, one cannot make an informed matter HOW SMART a person is! But then again, I can see you already have all the SMARTS you need. I appreciate your views, just don't insult my intelligence, others did that 23 yrs ago! C.J.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 10:09 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • CJ:
    The comment here was the Aparents do not know something as simplistic as the fact that laws vary from state to state. If SR is saying that Bmoms dont know this fact, I have no comment. She can say that bmoms are as bright or as naive as she wants and I know you will listen and not dare to disagree. When she insults amoms like that is what I object to.

    What you didnt know and how naive you were several decades ago has no relavance to this comment or question. I have no idea what the laws were 20+ years ago nor do I care and frankly, I am sure they have changed in the last couple of decades several times so I doubt they are helping anyone here.

    If you feel you were not smart 23 years ago has no coorelation to whether Aparents are smart now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Hey anon: Maybe you might want to consider the fact that anyone can read & answer in this section. It happens. And some of those people are clearly not up on adoption laws. I have seen answers on here that reflect what she is stating. I fail to see where she said ADOPTIVE moms didnt know the laws. She said "some people". And for all you know maybe some adoptive parents just dont know the laws in their state maybe different then ones three states away. Do you personally talk to & know every single person who has adopted baby recently?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

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