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My 9 yo SS pees his pants....

My SS is 9 and usually a very normal 9 year old. He plays football and baseball. He lives with us because his mother was having problems with tantrums and just bad behavior in general. We have never ever even seen this side of him. From what I understand, his grandmother (mom's mom) spoils him rotten!! Many of the tantrums happen(ed) there. She says she feels bad because his mom and dad are divorced and she treats him like a toddler. So, last year the grandma came to one football game and he peed his pants toward the end of it. We blew it off that maybe he just couldn't hold it... it happens. BUT, it happened AGAIN this weekend when she came to his game. It's never happened before. The only thing close was before he came to live with us he would come to visit and every so often wet himself. He was 6 or 7. Why would he be doing this? And why only when she's around?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • My 8 yr old SS has done this exact same thing!! Except not during a game. My hubby and his mom divorced when he was 3.. And her mother tries to say how pitiful he is because they got divorced and completely baby him and now when he gets mad at one of us.. He uses baby talk and he has thrown himself on the floor or into a wall and started googoo-gaagaa thing! I talked to a therapist about it and he says it's probably repressed anger and thats how they express how they feel. Luckily, it hasn't happened with our stepson in awhile, but some weeks are worse than others. Some weeks he doesn't even eat food without it getting fed to him and about 2 months ago, he pooped in his pants and demanded to be changed that minute! I hope your situation gets better. I don't have any advice but just wnated to tell you that you aren't the only one going through it! Maybe you should take him to a childs therapist though

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • You can't rule out the possiblity that he might have some sort of infection or something wrong with him that causes him to pee his pants. At 9 years of age a child should be able to hold it and would probably be too ashamed to pee in his pants in front of peers. This could also be an emotional reason as well. It sounds like he's been through a lot. It also sounds like he might have an "unhealthy" relationship with is Grandmother. You and your husband need to do some investigation to get down to the bottom of things. Find out exactly what goes on at grandmas house and take him to doctor to make sure he doesn't have some sort of medical condition.

    Answer by lowencope at 2:59 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Is he doing this right when he sees her, like he's reacting to her in a bad way? Like internally freaking out or something? Or is he happy to see her? Maybe it's because she coddles him, treats him like a baby, so his body is reacting like a little child? I'm not sure. I dont' know what to tell you. Something strange is going on with the Grandma situation, that is for sure. And for him to have an accident, every time he sees her, that is definitely cause for alarm. Have you brought this up with him? If so, what has he said?

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 3:01 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • My step son suddenly had a problem with wetting himself also. After going to the ped and finding nothing physical we went to a phsycologist. It turned out to be because of things that were going on in the other house. I would take him to a child phsyc and seeing how it happens when the one person is aound it might have something to do with her and something that happened.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • OP here.... He doesn't pee every time he sees her. Just these 2 times at football games. The only 2 she has come to since he's been living with us. And his behavior for us is very good. When he came to live with us FT he acted immature for his age, and as I said before, wet his pants a few times. But that was over 2 years ago. He has matured to what a 9 year old should be and hasn't wet his pants while in our care since. I told DH that something is wrong since he only does it when she's around and that he needs to talk to his ex, but the ex is very nonchalant about it. She doesn't get along much with her mother, who I suspect has mental issues from the few times I met her. Her mother insists on seeing my SS, though. Thank you, ladies for reinforcing what I was already thinking!! If it were my son I'd not let him go there at all without supervision, but that's not my call, unfortunately!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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