Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Please answer, it is important!

My DD is 22 months old & has recently started BITING & HITTING! I tell her we do not hit or bit, then I make her say sorry, & then I put her on time out. If she keeps doing it, I will spank her bottom one time.
But NOTHING seems to be working! I could spank her all day ( I would NEVER, I'm just trying to illustrate how bad this is), yell all day (again, I would NEVER), put her in time out ALL day, say no until I am blue in the face, but none of it seems to make a difference!
How do I get her to stop?! I am completely desparate! Please help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • being that it is a habit for her right now keep up with what your doing.no kid likes timeout.make sure timeout is as boring as possible so shell hate it.have her sit in a corner no tv no toys no type of enetertainment.i know its frustrating but i think the steps you are taking are eventually going to have an effect on her.
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 3:05 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • and try making it a lil longer like 15 minutes or 10 minutes depending on how long you put her on timeout for.or everytime she does it make timeout longer.start at 5 and then if she does it again make it 10
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 3:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • well you have probably heard this before but its just a phase it will pass. in the mean time keep up with the time outs good luck and remember before you know it the phase will be over!
    threeboysmama

    Answer by threeboysmama at 3:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • My youngest bit (he didn't hit - but he was notorious biter). I don't advocate this for anyone else - at all - but one day he bit his brother and almost broke skin (we're talking left a bruise for over a week) and after months of this I'd had enough it was time he learned the experience he was impaling on others - I bit him back - Not nearly as hard as he bit others - just enough to pinch and hurt - he seemed to know that his boo-boo was just like his brothers and it seemed to click. He went over and kissed his brother's boo-boo and hugged his brother. (without me having to tell him too) He was about 26 months old. He didn't bit anymore - ever.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 3:16 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • IMO time out should be 30 sec per half year of life so 22 months 2 min (rounding up a little). that being said. The timer doesn't start until it he screaming stops(not crying just the all out blood curdling screams). It also doesn't start until they are sitting 'still' in the general area of the time out (ours is the bottom step). So what may be technically a 2 min time out can take up to 15-20 min. Just keep picking her up and putting her back. Stay consistent and be sure to correct every hit and bite, not just the ones that hurt. You will have a few very tough days while she gets used to the routine and then she will eventually get the no hitting stuff down. It's hard. They have very selfish attitudes at that age. It's inherent 'me-ism' as I have heard it called. They want what they want when they want it and have to be taught patients and respect to others. It will take time but it's doable. :0)
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • add taking away one toy, what she was playing with or what you know she would want to play with soon, add that to saying NO HITTING NO BITING said Very Firmly / THAT HURTS / when she hits/bites.

    Also before an emotional upheaval prime her behavior with frequent short sentences of how to handle anger. She's only 2yo. Her brain can't reason yet much she can only express hate and joy.

    You can't expect her to remember the rules herself. She has to be reminded frequently of good ways to handle upsets and ways you will handle her when she can't do that.

    I found reminding my kids frequently of expected behavior and resulting punishment for bad behavior (different from being naughty) was more helpful than saying rules and then expecting them at young ages to remember rules.

    Their brains need help to remember things. i.e. as adults with life experiences behind us we forget to be polite sometimes,how can a little one remember?
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 3:21 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • bite her back
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • This may be unorthodox, but she may be doing it for the attention, even if it is negative attention. I would not give her any kind of attention when she does it. Give her time out without even looking at her or yelling or getting any kind of reaction from you what-so-ever. Pretty much ignore her, but still give her the consequences to her actions.
    burning_woman

    Answer by burning_woman at 3:32 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN