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I just dont know what to do anymore... my marriage is falling apart.

I recently found out my husband had an emotional affair with a woman he worked with. He claims they just kissed and nothing else but I dont know. This happened while he was staying out of town for work. Then I had another girl come forward (she is an old friend of his and knows/respects me) and tell me that he was calling/txting her saying he hates me & loves her and so on and so forth. When I confronted him about it, he said she was a "crazy liar" and that she only said it to break our marriage up because she wants him. She has since stopped talking to him. I then found a txt in his phone under the drafts telling someone "happy birthday baby, i love you." Again... he says he has no idea where it came from. He says he loves me and only me but Im not stupid. I want to leave him. But Im terrified. I have 2 kids and have been a SAHM for 4 years. How am I going to make it... Im so upset... I never expected all of this...

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • It sounds like he probably is up to something if these incidents just keep happening. I wouldn't expect so many "accidental" weird happenings like that to be likely. I'm not really sure I have any advice, but I do feel terrible about your situation, though I know that doesn't help much. I'm a SAHM too (expecting first child) and I can't imagine what I would do, cause I've never even been to college or anything and being on my own would be really really scary for me. Like I said, I don't really have any advice, but if you need to talk, feel free to PM me. I wish you the best, and I hope everything works out.

    Answer by sammybear71 at 5:19 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Tell him that you know that there is something going on with him you're not crazy and neither are these other women. Either you're here or your not and we're either going to work on our marriage or we're not. He needs to have more respect for his wife and children. If he's going to act like an ass he can at least be honest about it. OR Sit tight and pretend that everything is okay. Take money each month until you have enough to survive a dew months. Then leave his, hand his ass to him in the divorce and get a part time job to cover the rest of the expenses. Good luck and I know you can do it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • ""Emotional Affair" sorry but that is silly. If he is not physical with her, it's not an affair. It's friendship in which she probably wants more but not likely to get it."

    Ok, I'm just going to come right out with it. You are stupid. Please read the book, "Why Men Cheat", and you'll see that men are more likely to have physical affairs after they've had emotional affairs and they are more likely to LEAVE their families after an emotional affair not just a physical one. Seriously, get real.

    Op, start saving money, start selling things a little bit at a time. It's time for "plan b" if you want out of this marriage.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:41 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • This is the OP

    I say that this is an emotional affair because he was telling her that he loved her and she was saying the same. He told me about it and admitted that he was having thoughts of leaving me for her. Its sad to me that he could throw away his whole marriage for her. Because he had only known her for ONE WEEK before the 'I love yous" were being thrown around.

    Im going to begin saving now. I can't handle the constant worry regarding where he is or who he is with anymore... beyond that, Im not willing to take the disrespect he keeps giving me. When I call him with a problem, I get yelled at. When I ask him to talk to me about what happened (because I just dont get it) i get the sighs and eye rolls and they "why do we have to talk about it... lets put it in the past"

    Thanks to everyone who offered their sympathy and advise. I truly appreciate it. Because as of right now, I feel totally alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • You deserve better. He sounds like a major loser. There are real men out there and i hope that you find one. He will soon realize what he lost but it will be too late. GOod luck to you

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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