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Any other sandwich generation moms here?

Taking care of your kids and your parents or inlaws? Where do you get support from?


Asked by kjrn79 at 7:14 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • No support, not even from our siblings. My dad is 81, my FIL is 76, MIL is 72... FIL may have cancer, dad has multiple health issues and my mom died over 20 years ago. We're the only ones at all nearby and we do a lot for them although they still live on their own. And we have kids, ages 3 & 5. So yeah, I'm like a really squished panini these days!

    Answer by HybridMom27 at 10:03 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • My husband and I just depend on each other. We helped take care of my mother in law who is now deceased. We have had long talks with my father in law and my parents about what they expect from us as they get older. We are looking at moving in a few years so we will both be closer to our parents as they age. My parents have already told me that I will be the one who will be in charge of their healthcare and all major decisions. I am one of 5 children but am really the only one who can handle making those kind of decisions. I will also be responsible for my two disabled siblings. I do have one brother who I know will be there to support me when the time comes, but my other siblings just are not able to.


    Answer by FL2AK at 7:19 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • My mom is 90 and in a nursing home close by. My in-laws are in their late 70's and live next door. My kids are 9 & 11, and yes, I'm sandwiched. I've been taking care of my mom, her needs and her finances for the last 6 years. My in-laws are still healthy, but my DH has already been taking over little things already. It's a lot of responsibility.

    I've been incredible lucky to have a supportive husband, he had done quite a lot to help with my mom.  The nursing home my mom is at is terrific, and I make sure I'm there all the time and know all the staff.


    Answer by mancosmomma at 7:52 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • My ex husband decided to take care of his mother after she had a stroke, the only problem was he took care of her and only her, he was in school at the time and quit, has no job now, she has become all his life is about. I didn't mind him taking care of her, and I helped all I could, but it just go to be too much for me to support him, his mother, his daughter and myself, so I left after much talking and begging for things to change. It was a sad situation though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • In case anyone looks back at this question in the future: we do have a cafemom group for the sandwich generation. I haven't been active on it myself, but we are in the same boat!!!!

    Comment by kjrn79 (original poster) at 8:28 PM on Jul. 17, 2010