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Any one else not sure when to stop having kids?

DH and I have an almost 2 y/o DD (she will be two next month) and we have a baby boy on the way. We have always said we wanted at least 3 kids, but now that we know we are going to have one of each, Im not sure. Our DD is smart, beautiful and extremely healthy, and although our son isnt here yet he is perfectly healthy and Im sure he is cute lol. I just dont know if we should push our luck by having another. We are VERY grateful for the two children we have and couldnt be happier to have them both, I just dont know if I should push my luck...what if we try again and the baby is born with a heart problem or something? But on the other hand I have always wanted at least 3 or 4 kids and so has DH. What do you all think? Does anyone else feel this way? Is it normal? I have thought about talking with my OB about getting my tubes tide but I dont know if I will regret it later...

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Mikayla_lynn

Asked by Mikayla_lynn at 7:52 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,452 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I don't believe anybody think they were pushing their luck,if,they had a healthy child,then have a special needs child, you would still think the special needs child is still a gift from GOD,just suppose your son is born with a problem,would you love him any less. I know everyone is entitled to their opinion,and I know this is a freedom of speech web site. But, you sound like you are selfish,immature, and don't  know that ALL CHILDREN ARE BLESSINGS.I am very upset,I thought this was a good night.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Have you talked to your parents about it for their guidance?
    jilligan362

    Answer by jilligan362 at 8:15 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I guess they should start placing babies in a store window, so you can just be lucky and pick out a cute baby.This is a joke. So,you are saying parents of special needs babies are unlucky,and because your DD is so cute and smart,you are lucky. How old are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I have six kids and they are all a blessing,but it depends on you and your hubby.I would say don't jump the gun yet and get your tubes tied.Have your baby boy and just give it a while.You will know in time.Good luck to you and yours.
    MommyLove23

    Answer by MommyLove23 at 8:33 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I understand you. I had the same feeling after having both of my children. My career is working wih individuals with special needs and I knew that I would love the child no matter what but at the same time I also know that it is more work taking care of a special needs child and with two children already I wondered if as you said was "pushing my luck". I did have 3 healthy children and am now thinking about 4 but do not have the same worries. I think the image of a "perfect family" of one boy and one girl is what I struggled with but now I think that family is too small and not the 'perfect' family at all. I also say do not get your tubes tied. leave the door open.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Why are you "pushing your luck" having more than two kids? I have 5...all my own, with the Step D we have 6. It is up to you how many you have...your love will only grow exponentially trust me. I will say this. My mom was one of three...I was one of three, and then for 19 yrs I had only three...three is an odd number. One is always left out, or over ruled lol. It is much easier with 2 or 4. Just my experience.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:15 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I love having children in my home. I love playing with them, cuddling them, teaching them things, learning from them, watching them grow. My 2 year old gives me so much joy and entertainment. I've learned so many things from him. I'm excited each day to find out what we will learn from each other. He's my third, and I thought he would be my last.

    We are expecting our fourth child. It wasn't planned, it just kind of happened, despite us being very careful. I'm excited to have another child to love, cuddle, play and learn with. My children add so much meaning and joy to my life. This will be our last child, for certain. That kind of saddens me, but we aren't getting any younger. If I were young enough, we had enough money and a big enough house, I would have more. This should be perfect though, we will be an even number of people again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I say don't get your tubes tied yet. Give it a little time & see if you & dh will be able to handle more. There is no "right" number of kids. You may find that 2 is all you can handle, or you may find you want more. Don't get rid of the option of more until you're completely sure you're done having kids.

    For those who are bashing her - she never said she wouldn't love a special needs child or that it would make her unlucky to have one. However, special needs kids need a lot more care & attention than a "healthy" or "normal" child. There is the possibility of the other kid(s) feeling left out or loved less due to mom having to give most of her time to a sibling with special needs. Also, special needs kids can be very expensive to care for, and they may not have the finances to care for the kids they already have & the extra expenses of the special needs child. So, there is no reason to bash her for being concerned.
    busygoddess

    Answer by busygoddess at 11:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Why all the bashing? Sheesh people why so mean?

    I totally understand what you mean. I have a 2 year old and am pregnant with #2. I think this will probably be my last due to the fact that my 2 year old has extremely deadly food allergies. The odds are that my 2nd baby will too. Does it make me selfish not to want to have a 3rd baby with severe deadly food allergies? I don't think so at all. All I do is worry, worry, worry about my baby and what he eats. I worry about his future at college and wonder what he's going to eat. I think 2 will be plenty to worry about.

    I think it's perfectly normal to think that way. My advice is to have your 2nd, and go from there. You may find that 2 is perfect, or you may find you want to try for that 3rd and aren't going to worry about pushing your luck.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • In my experience, you'll just know. Your family will feel full and complete when you're done having kids. If you're not done, it'll feel like something is missing. That's just my experience, but as mother and a wife, you'll just KNOW, just like you KNEW you needed to push when you were in labor, (or when you KNOW you're hungry, if you've had a c-section. . .)
    debra_benge

    Answer by debra_benge at 12:08 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

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