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Is it selfish to only want one child?

This is such a debatable issue in my head, I really only want one child. I want to be able to provide the best I can for my kid and with our income, we should really only have one.

On the other hand I think about how lonely she could be, and what she will do when her father and I are dead. Hopefully she'll have her own life and kids by then but she'd be all alone outside of that.

 
staciandababy

Asked by staciandababy at 9:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 38 (102,010 Credits)
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Answers (27)
  • Giving her siblings does not guarantee they will be best friends. Don't guilt yourself into having more children. That is not sufficient motivation to bring life into the world. If you don't want tohave more children or can't afford to, don't.
    tiggermom803

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 12:00 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I think that you should do what you think is right. If you don't feel like you should have another child then don't. Eventually, she'll start school, she'll have friends, boyfriends, children of her own. I wouldn't have another child due to loneliness so I agree with you there and no I don't think it's selfish.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 9:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • nope i dont think so, i rather have one kid and give my kid an awsome life than 10 with a crappy one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Yes and no. If you are only having one child because you want to over indulge your child with fruitless things that won't teach her value or hard work ethic....then maybe. If you want one child because you feel like it's best all the way around for your family to just have one, no.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:07 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • NOOOOOOOOOOO you should have another kid even though you cant afford it and the only reason being that your daughter might be lonely! Grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I only wanted one and she was the only one until age 8, it took hubby all those years to convience me to have another. Now we have a total of 3 and although I love all of them and wouldnt change anything, I do still miss the days when it was just her. She was not lonely, we are very close to family so she had lots of cousins etc. to be around. I have a younger sister and a younger brother but really dont see them or talk to them so alot of the times I feel like an only child, they both live in different states. And growing up she hated me as much as I hated her, long story but she was with daddy full time, I was with my mom in another state. Do what is right for your family now, you might change your mind in a few years, maybe not, either way its not wrong or right.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:10 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • You are being a wise parent to provide accordingly for your child. I've only got one child too and that's all I'm having. I would love to have more because of the whole only child thing, but I just don't think my body could handle another round...health issues and hubby doesn't want to adopt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • The child would never be over indulged and i'm very against spoiling, but housing in a good neighborhood, generally nicer things and etc etc etc.

    I'm plenty grown up and I only ask because my little sister is 12 years younger than me and I asked her if she was lonely being the only child in the house and she said yes and looked very sad. I told her that her mom and dad are able to give her nicer things and go out more often because it's just her and she said she didn't care because there was never anyone to play with.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 9:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I also see the mom at the grocery store trying to shop with two little kids and it's so chaotic for her. I see moms with a kid on each hip and they look exhausted and frazzled.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 9:14 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I heard once that having one child fits into your lifestyle.

    Having two totally changes it.

    We have one and know it was the best decision for us.
    As for our son being lonely, many children are lonely in large families, too.

    Listen to the first song in my songlist on my profile page.
    07upsydaisy

    Answer by 07upsydaisy at 9:15 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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