Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do women want to be supported to stay with an abusive man?

Seriously? You will find many women both online and off that will support you 100% to get away from an abuser.

There are ways, if you don't leave it's because you are choosing not to. Don't get upset just because someone didn't give you a shoulder to cry on. You don't get that shoulder to cry on until you've left the abusive situation. Maybe getting angry is exactly what you need to motivate you to get out of an abusive situation.
How many of you would get on cafemom to "vent" just after your hubby beat you? How many of you would do the "smart" thing and call the police?

 
legalmommy101

Asked by legalmommy101 at 10:10 PM on Sep. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (169 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (159)
  • You are absolutely correct and I couldn't have said it better myself. WAY TO GO!!!


    clapping

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I think she is confused and is trying to get a few opinions. She probably knows that she needs to leave him...
    crazypink

    Answer by crazypink at 10:13 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • I don't think that she is full of herself. She is right. Don't come crying to me until you have left the situation and want to better yourself.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:13 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • "so u give the person that stayed for 10 years and finally left grief and call them a loser cause they stayed so long? or happy they left? or are they a loser for staying so long.. i bet your oh so perfect"


    No, because I focus on the present and future. The positive is that the person left. Which is way more than Angry ANON has done.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:16 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • "so if your friend got beat and came to u asking what to do and how she feels like she lost herself you'd tell her go away till u better yourself??"


    No, you call the police. After that it's up to the "friend" to decide if she's going to leave or stay.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • "legal.. i do want 2 leave.... i was scared to i am scared to.. been 5 years! and i feel like i lost me, im sorry im not as strong as you are christ i wanted supportive ways to do it to help me feel strong enough to do it!"


    You own the house, right? Call the police and tell them he hit you. He will be removed from the house. Go to the commissioners office and get a temporary restraining order on him. When you go to court, file for emergency family maintenance. If he's been supporting you, he will have to continue to do so until you get on your feet. How's that for support?

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:20 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • Obviously you've never been in an abusive relationship, it isn't as easy as just up and leaving. Sometimes all people need is a shoulder to cry on and if a person is a true friend they aren't going to turn a friend away who needs a crying shoulder regardless of the situation.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 10:22 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • If people didn't support me while I was in it I never would have left. It's easy for the one outside to say what you should do. Respectfully legalmommy,have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Have you ever lived in so much fear you didn't know if you could stay or go? I'm sorry I know it's frustrating to watch someone go through it and not leave, but I thank God that others didn't give up on me when I gave up on myself. BTW I am married,happily,and healthy now and it's so hard to believe I was ever where I was.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 10:22 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • "if hes in jail.. please tell me how can he pay to help support? "


    If there aren't any marks on you, he won't stay in jail. He'll go in, talk to the commissioner , get a court date and be released.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:22 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

  • "You own the house, right? Call the police and tell them he hit you. He will be removed from the house. Go to the commissioners office and get a temporary restraining order on him. When you go to court, file for emergency family maintenance. If he's been supporting you, he will have to continue to do so until you get on your feet. How's that for support?"

    Wow it's amazing how things would be in a PERFECT WORLD!! face it, it isn't always this easy in the real world. I've seen women be abused and the legal system refuse to help them because there "wasn't enough evidence or proof".
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 10:23 PM on Sep. 14, 2009