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Can anyone see how Legalmommy's perspective isn't always so simple to follow?

I see so many supporters of her point of view, and I can see why, however...it's not always so simple.

I had a friend named Caitlin Walter...she lived in Indianapolis, so you can google this if you'd like. She was in an abusive relationship and tried to get away. She got a restraining order, she told friends and family...she even called the police at different times bc he was texting and trying to come to her apartment. He came to her apartment, shot and killed her, then killed himself. I'd just like to point out that I think legalmommy made the abused women sound kind of stupid & at fault, and that's not always the case...sometimes they have legitimate reason to be scared. Maybe if Caitlin had stayed with this guy,she'd still be alive. It's a very complicated and difficult process, and my heart goes out to abused women.

I have nothing against legalmommy, she's made some great points in other posts I've read.

 
StefanieN84

Asked by StefanieN84 at 1:38 AM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (69)
  • I wrote this on the other post too, but my mother was in a very abusive situation. My dad wouldn't let her have a job or give her any money. She stayed and it took me a long time, but I know and understand why and I forgive her. My mom was in a horrible situation. He told her if she left he would kill her and he was crazy enough to do it. She eventually left and he stalked her and us children. It was so scary. I think it's really hard to comment if you haven't been in the situation yourself. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with anybody. Everybody has their own opinions, I'm just saying.
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 1:45 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • "I have nothing against legalmommy, she's made some great points in other posts I've read"



    Then why call her out by name? Why not just say, "why can't people understand that abused women...blah, blah, blah?".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I was doing this to show the other point of view from the post that said "Don't you think legalmommy is great" or something like that, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I'm glad you think that my post was "blah, blah, blah"...you sound like a very compassionate and understanding person
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:43 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I never said that it was blah blah blah. What I said was why didnt you post the question without calling out a member by name? If you just came on and started reading that post, you missed the entire reason for that post.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • That's what I'm saying theutilitarian...it's a lot easier to judge if you've never been in the situation. Luckily, I myself haven't, but I don't like to judge people regardless.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:46 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Hey Stef, I never said it was an easy choice and there are countless reasons to stay. The chances of getting injured or killed by staying is much greater than leaving. If there's a chance to get a way, why not take it? If these moms are willing to do absolutely anything for their children, they should be willing to take the chance and get out. I know how flawed the system is, I see it. Nothing will change until women step up and try to make it out. There are so many women that go back time and time again. This is why the system is flawed when it comes to domestic violence protection for women. Enough is enough ladies, make a plan and get out.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:47 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • "I never said that it was blah blah blah. What I said was why didnt you post the question without calling out a member by name? If you just came on and started reading that post, you missed the entire reason for that post."

    No...I read her original post and the one that I referred to. It's only that after losing my friend a few months ago and knowing that she did everything she knew how to do, and got MURDERED bc of it, that not all women should be made to look like weak, pathetic victims that are too stupid to make the "smart" choice.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:48 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • i do have alot against legalmommy, and as i was trying to say in the other post, these women are scared and scared people do not always think rationally, and as you said there are often extenuating circumstances

    women in these situations need a friend and a shoulder to cry on, not "you're too damn lazy to take care of yourself because you let your husband beat the crap out of you"
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 1:51 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I agree in a lot of ways on what you're saying legalmommy, and if I "called you out" as Ms. Anon here is saying, I apologize...I honestly didn't think you'd mind. You seem fairly outspoken and not easily offended, if I'm reading you correctly. I would never personally put myself in such a situation, especially with children...I was just relaying a gruesome situation that unfortunately happened to a friend. I had always thought of women who stayed as sort of weak and pathetic if they stayed... until this happened. Now I realize the true danger and how it is much, much more complicated than mot people realize. I'm not saying that you DON'T realize it, but I know many people don't. It's simply scary how psychotic some men can become.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:52 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • "The chances of getting injured or killed by staying is much greater than leaving. If there's a chance to get a way, why not take it?"

    This depends on the situation, though. It's all about control with these men, and with some of them, once they lose that control entirely, it hijacks their mind and takes over until the point where it drives them insane. What's really sad is that my friend called the police to her apartment THREE times in 2 weeks and the cops didn't do anything!
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:54 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

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