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Can I tell a grown woman who is a good friend of mine that I have cancer?

Even though her mother is begging me not to? I don't know if you remember but I posted a question about how my neighbor who's daughter (my friend) just had a baby and thinks that any single little thing will make her milk dry up. She begged me not to tell my friend and I haven't but it will get to that point soon. I think that my friend can handle it. Should i go against her moms wishes and just tell her? I could use her support, prayers and so on, she is married and has grown into a wonderful woman. I was her confidant for 7 years while she felt like she couldn't talk to her mom. She is 23 now.


Asked by ItsMeGigi69 at 3:28 AM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (8)
  • I think you should tell her her mother should not have a say in it. Her mother is not one to say what she can handle and what she can't. So go ahead and tell her.

    I am just beside myself I wasn't aware that you had cancer I like your post so much your funny photos and what not your just a sweet girl and when i'm up early for work i know that you are on I look for your post. Well I am sorry for your news You take care of yourself. Oh how's your new job going?

    Answer by raemommy at 3:53 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • This should be between you and your friend. I don't think her mother should be involved in what goes on between the two of you. It's not her business. Friendship is a two way street. Besides, your friend is bound to find out eventually and it's better if you're the one to tell her. That way, she won't think that you couldn't trust her or be there for you just as you have been there for her. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'll be praying for you.

    Answer by chocaholic888 at 3:39 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • You should tell her. She will be more upset if you wait to tell her.

    Answer by jakjasjon at 4:27 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • yes this is not somethign you can go through without a friend. her mom is being a mom and trying to protect her from life besides she will need to know why somedays you are not up to visitng or chatting wiht her. If she doesn't know how can she add you to her prayer list

    Answer by mamak57 at 7:42 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I have a 23 yr old daughter and I wouldn't dream of interfering in her life like that. If her milk supply is established that doesn't seem like a reasonable fear to me. And if this 23 yr old is of normal intelligence and normal emotional stability I think I would stop talking to her mother. She sounds like a loon to me. Now if the girl has problems. If she is struggling with milk supply issues. If it seems reasonable, then you can probably find other friends to talk to. But if you fear that your hair will be falling out soon and she will be blindsided by not knowing then you have to tell her anyway.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I would tell her, even with the mother saying not to. If you have cancer, you need a support system. What better support to have than that of a friend? Besides, if her mother is acting strangely about the whole issue and treating you differently, she's going to know something is up and will start to ask questions. So instead of running the risk of her finding out on her own and being disappointed with you not telling her so she can be there, just get it out of the way and tell her.

    Answer by Mina2904 at 8:14 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I'm agreeing... you should tell her. It's not her mom's place to tell you what you can share with your friend. I know it's hard. Been there myself, but if you leave her out..who do you have for support???
    She would be devastated if she couldn't even pray for you!!
    Just my opinion.
    I'll be praying for you!

    Answer by fm4christ at 8:16 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • First, this is between you and your friend - NOT you, your friend, and her mother. Second, this will NOT make her milk dry up! Unless she decides to physically go through the treatment with you - getting chemo, radiation, or whatever (which of course is NOT possible), then her milk supply is going to be just fine.

    Finally, it sounds like you could use your friends around to support you right now, and honestly, your friends are going to need to be able to be around you, supporting you right now.

    Tell her.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:22 AM on Sep. 15, 2009