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OMG What do I do?! Our 4 1/2 y.o. son saw us "together".

From what My DH said...He went in and must have seen "something" he did not do anything just turned around...and stood next to the door. I didn't know that happened and told him to go back to bed...that is when he went back to his room without a word. My husband said at that point he saw us. I was mortified. I went to his room and said I was sorry. and then a bit after that I said mommy and papi were doing mami and papi things. Geesh what a terrible mistake of not locking the door.So stupid!

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Mom2DiegoKharla

Asked by Mom2DiegoKharla at 8:37 AM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • This is exactly what happened ( his reaction). He has not woke up yet....and I am still freaking out.
    Mom2DiegoKharla

    Answer by Mom2DiegoKharla at 8:38 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Don't make such a big deal about it...he will not be traumatized for the rest of his life. And when he wakes up just ask him if he has any questions about what he saw. If he does, only answer enough to ease his mind...at this age, they only need the bare minimum to tide over their curiosity. Then, like you said, LOCK THE DOOR.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:49 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Act normal, you did not do anything wrong. Except not lock your bedroom door. If he does not say anything about it. Do not bring it up. If he does bring it up. Just say mom and dad where hugging. He is to young to understand anymore then that. It is nothing to freak out about.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:58 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • First, don't freak out. Second, do not say you're sorry. Now, if he says something like it scared him or something (doubtful that he will, but just in case), then you can say something like "I'm sorry you were scared, but everything is ok."

    Keep in mind, he might not say anything about it, and he might be just fine, in which case, just let it go. IF he does say something about it, then just say something like "I know it's probably confusing, but Mommy and Daddy were doing private Mommy and Daddy only things. I know it probably looked strange or funny to you, but everything's ok. It's just something private, and that only grownups who love each other very much get to do."

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:59 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • cont

    Then say something like, if you need Mommy or Daddy, you should knock on our door so we know you need us, and we can come take care of you. (Of course, he isn't going to remember that, and don't make it a big thing, but it's good to start the groundwork for it.) And, just to be safe, lock the door :-)

    Honestly though, he's not going to be scared for life or anything like that by this though. Just don't freak out, because as long as you stay calm and matter of fact about it, he's going to be just like "oh, ok... So, can we go to the park?" lol - or whatever, basically, he's going to just process it and move on.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:02 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • We've had this happen, too. I don't make a big deal about it, if it doesn't bother you (outwardly, at least) then he probably won't be worried. My MIL told us once that hubby (when he was small) walked in on them constantly, but hubby doesn't remember. Now he has walked in on them more recently, now that was traumatic...
    CaLizzyMom

    Answer by CaLizzyMom at 10:17 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Why did you go to his room after? why did you apologize? Why did you say ANYTHING about what you guys were doing?

    If you had let it go and just waited until he came to you and said something, you'd know what he was thinking and could have gone with that. You WAY overreacted.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I agree that there was no need to explain or apologize, and no need to bring it up again. A lot of kids have walked in on their parents at some point or another. It doesn't have to be a big deal or a traumatizing experience. He probably won't thnk much of it if you don't make a big deal out of it.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:39 AM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I think you did okay, I would have freaked out too. My boys are very smart for their age and I dont think not saying someing would have worked for my kiddos. My policy is honesty is the best thing. Now DH and I leave alot out when we explain things but we dont make things up. Like our boys wanted to know how mommy got pregnant, and we told them that we prayed for a baby and God gave us one. That was all the explaination they needed. Maybe you could tell your son... That mommy and daddy love each other very much and since your married you get to hug and kiss when its time to go to bed. GOOD Luck.
    Mrs.Faith

    Answer by Mrs.Faith at 1:22 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • dont say your sorry...sex is natural...but just lock your door lol....he'll be fine :D
    jessean

    Answer by jessean at 1:14 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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