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How can I delicately approach the situation of a friend who WON'T TIP?

I have made a new friend with whom I have begun to enjoy weekly dinner dates. The problem is that she leaves ZERO tip. She is struggling from paycheck to paycheck, and her reasoning is that she just can't afford to leave a tip. My feeling is that if you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to eat out. I don't sneak peaks at her reciept. She just tells me and she also tries to nitpick with the service and try to find ways to justtify not tipping,

My problem is that we go to the same places and it's just embarrassing. I don't want to gain a reputation that leads the bartendters/waitstaff to think, "Oh, God, not these b-----s again...", ya know? And it's wrong to not tip them when they are just making chump change. How can I delicately approach this situation? Or should I just stop going out with her?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (12)
  • Try going to a different restaurant, or a cheaper one.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:22 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I would try to be a little more understanding about her situation, and to say she shouldn't be eating out if she can tip is BS, we all deserve to treat ourselves every once in awhile. But she shouldn't be nit picking either, she should be glad she is eating out and can at least afford that. I'd try going to cheaper places to eat, to where she can afford some tip, or you guys go intogether on the tip.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 12:22 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Does she always pay the bill? If so, why don't you try throwing in the tip? Or do you pay your bills seperate?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • You don't. Some people just don't tip... that's just the way it is. Sometimes I tip, sometimes I don't. If I can't afford to, I don't... and if the food is wrong or the service sucks that's a definite NO on the tipping.

    If it's that big of a deal to you, then don't eat out with her or go to a fast food or buffet place..... but I don't think it's anything to bring up with her. It's her decision to make & not something that's anyone else's business.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:26 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Try eating at places that don't "require" a tip, like buffets and fast food restaurants.

    If not, then I would jst pay my tip and not worry about her. SHE'S the one that will get a bad reputation. Don't leave the tip on the table. Give it directly to your server, so he/she knows that you indeed left the tip.

    I don't like going out with non-tippers either, it's really embarrassing!!!!

    Answer by Fallaya at 12:37 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Go someplace less expensive or where tipping wouldn't be expected. If she's covering the whole bill, offer to cover the tip. If you're splitting the bill, tip heavy on your half to cover her lack of tip.

    BTW, for those who think tipping is unnecessary, federal law allows a restaurant to pay servers 1/2 of minimum wage, with the remainder *expected* to come from tips *unless* your state's wage requirements are stricter and can supercede. Your server's income tax withholding is based on the total food and drink served *regardless* of the amount actually received in tips - usually about 5-7% of the total tab. When you do not tip - your server pays income tax on money they did not make.

    Is it unfair that you're expected to subsidize their salary? Sure. But don't blame the server, blame the system.

    Answer by geminilove at 12:44 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • OMG the servers make like 2 $ an hour!! How would you like it if your employer didnt pay you cause they didn't have the money. If you dont have the money to tip then get fast food. You should tip a good server 20% and if they are bad decrease it dont not tip at all unless it is extremely bad

    Answer by Cherish050307 at 12:45 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Tipping should be part of the bill. Even if the food sucks, it's not the server's fault! If it's poor service, then yes, by all means lower the tip. But if you go somewhere and you get decent service - a tip is not optional!! That is someone's job - they aren't there to earn the 2.13/hour that they get paid from the restaurant. Btw - I work in a restaurant and most of that 2.13 usually goes to taxes so the server's get NO paycheck, they live on tips. It is NOT okay to not leave a tip and I would bring it up with your friend. When the server drops the paid checks back off, just ask her "I'm leaving $5 for a tip (or however much, 20% is standard), how much are you leaving?" If she says nothing, ask her "why not, don't you feel like you got good service?"
    Just fyi - as a server, we DO remember who tips and who doesn't.

    Answer by missanc at 12:49 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Just don't eat out with her. Obviously she cannot afford it.

    Answer by OneToughMami at 12:50 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I agree, maybe the dinner dates should stop if she is living paycheck to paycheck. I am in the same stiuation and there is no way I could ever afford weekly dinner dates! But if you must go out, do fast food, then she won't have to tip anyone. Hey you go with what you can afford!
    I also agree on the "Please tip your server" unless they really sucked. Even at a buffet, i used to work at one and the servers worked their butts off getting people their drinks and making sure their table was clear of dirty plates and there was a seafood night that was madness! Cleaning buckets of cracked crab legs was no fun so a tip was always appreciated.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

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