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My daughter just turned 4 the end of August. Lately I have noticed agressive behavior when I try to put her in time out. She has slapped me in the face and has attempted to scratch me on the arms. I am a little confused as to whether this is just a normal stage or if there may be a bigger issue. I do not spank and I do monitor what she watches to make sure there is no violence. The only changes have been is her starting preschool which she loves and her little sister started walking so she is starting to play more and wants her sisters toys. I am not sure if she is seeing this behavior from someone or if this is perfectly normal. I have tried to maintain my cool but it is becoming more difficult with each slap. Again, I do not beleive in spanking and am not sure what else I should be doing differently. Any suggestions???


Asked by maddiemygirl at 2:54 PM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (14)
  • First, you do NOT have to spank or tear her ass up to teach her how to behave. If you start spanking her because she is hurting you, then she will think it is ok and keep doing it or she will get worse. I am thinking that she is picking some of the behavior up at preschool. It could also be that there is something more going on. When she hits, firmly, tell her that it hurts and it is NOT ok. Put her in her room and tell her that when she is ready to act like a big girl, she can come out. Let her scream all she wants, the longer she does, the longer she stays in her room. Take away toys or priveleges. Read the book, "1-2-3 It's Magic". It is a common sense, non spanking form of discipline that works. If she gets more aggressive or starts hurting herself or the baby, take her to a counselor and have her evaluated, but whatever you do, you do NOT need to start spanking her. You want her to respect you not fear you.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:11 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • well being u dont believe in spanking how are u going teach her .

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 2:56 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • her problem is probably sshe never got her as tore up so now he think she can walk all over u .. she thinks she is the boss

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 2:57 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • ashley nick30

    That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You need to definately read some parenting books. Up until recently, my DD has been very well behaved. Just because she is going through a stage does not mean that she is undisiplined or is walking all over me. If this is your view on parenting you should be sterilized.

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 3:06 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • it could be kids at school, i have heard my kids say some things that i knew for dang sure didnt come from us or family. i always ask my kids what their friends do and things like that or you could even ask the teacher.

    Answer by kd2kds at 3:10 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • **She has slapped me in the face ** I dont think so .. No she is old enought too know she dont hit her mother and u have already told her once .. and she does it again . ur a fool .. disicipline ur child. time out or something. in this case if it has happened over and over he would get a spanking and go to time out. U dont do nothing .. when she 15 and 16 she will prbably till be beating ur ass..

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 3:14 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I do not believe that she is learning it at school. She is attending private school and my DD has only showed this type of behavior one time which I was informed about. My fear is that before she attending school she was going to a babysitter. Shortly before she started school she came home a few times and informed us that she was hit. When we spoke to the babysitter about it she first denied it and then later confessed that she did hit her. At first we though that these were isolated incidents but now I am starting to wonder if this was a daily occurance. I have recently spoken to other parents who sent their children there and several has expressed the same concerns and are in the process of finding a new sitter. There has even been an incident where I found my DD bend over my youngest spanking her bottom teling her to "get over there". Most of the hitting seems to be slaps on the face. Am I being paranoid??

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 3:20 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • well she may have never done this before and she has just started preschool she could be learning it from other kids.

    Answer by kd2kds at 3:20 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • no your not being paranoid, it must of been the babysitter she learned this from. thank goodness she isnt at that sitter anymore. i hope you can change this behavior, she could be a bit traumatized by that. just take your time and have some patience, i know thats hard cuz i barely have any patence.

    Answer by kd2kds at 3:23 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • ashley nick30

    I do not need or want YOUR advice. If you would have read the first posting you would see that this is happening when I am putting her in time out. Maybe YOU need to be slapped around a bit. I believe children learn aggressive behavior by seeing it.

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 3:26 PM on Sep. 15, 2009