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How do you leave them? Am I doing the right thing??

My son (13 mo.) is going into daycare on Monday, and I can't stop crying at the thought of leaving him. I know that we need a change- i need to get off my butt and get back to work, and he needs to learn social skills. But, I'll be dropping my son off at 7am, when he doesn't usually wake up until 8:30 this time of year (it changes with the sun) and Rusty will be picking him up when he gets off work at 5. That's even longer than a school day. And it's about as long as they're even open. I stood there watching him on the playground, it was just him because the other kids were napping, and he was loving it, but then he'd had enough and i picked him up and hugged him...I won't be able to do that Monday. I feel like I'm hurting him by leaving him there, as though I'm abandoning him.
Have you done this with your toddler? How do you cope with it? How do you adjust?
It's already cost me more than one pay to start a job

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sweetphoenix529

Asked by sweetphoenix529 at 3:26 PM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (139 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • he will be fine.. it will be hard but he will have fun .. if u have too call daycare too check on him if u have too
    ashley_nick30

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 3:29 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I had to leave all 3 of mine at daycare. In the beginning it was the hardest thing I ever did. With my first, I cried for a month before I left him. But just wait - you will see, he will make friends. He will talk about his day and the things he does that he would never do at home. He will have great experiences. He will paint and sing and laugh. My kids absolutely love it. They ask to go on weekends. I truly believe that they are more independent and better off because of it. Good luck to you!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:35 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • when my dd goes to daycare(once in a blue moon) dh drops heroff at 6am. i diont have a car and sometimes she goes when i have doc app or to get small break. my dd loves going. she hates it when dh picks her up and as soon as she comes home she is already asking when she is going back. you know am k. i dont feel bad or anything she is having fun . i adjusted fast i never had a problem and neither did she.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 3:53 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Don't worry about your little one. He'll be fine. If he does get upset, it'll only be for a week or two and they usually only cry for a few minutes before they get distracted with the other kids and toys. It's always harder on mommy. Just take some comfort knowing he's having fun and learning so much (from the teachers and the other kids).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Oh mommy.....*HUGS* I had to put my son in daycare at 16 months. Its SO hard in the beginning. I cried for a good week as I left, my heart still breaks and its been 8 months - although my son is very attached to me so he's still crying 80% of the time at drop off and It kills me.. but he gets daily activities sheets, we do conferences, they do arts and crafts, outside time, meal planning, scheduled nap times and he's doing great. its just drop off thats still hard for both of us, but some kids adjust easier than my max. I did notice his verbal skills jumped right out and after he started going there he was able to play more by himself, which was NEVER possible before. he was always at our leg wanting to get picked up and whining all the time, its gotten SO much better since we started him in daycare. And he only goes part time. its is hard though but its easier for ME now -
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:03 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Hey sweet, its Dj. My son same age as yours, When he was about 9-10 months I was working and he had to go to daycare full time too. He was in it before when he was younger but yet it is harder when they are older and its hard for mom and dad too. The first week will be really tough but eventually your son and you will be adjusted enough. I know its hard honey and I have been there. If you need to talk I am always there for you either in chat or email.
    djanowski775

    Answer by djanowski775 at 4:40 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • well don't do it for the social skills but if you need the money then that's altogether different.

    my son has been in day care since he was 5 months old. neither my husband nor i make enough to just go on the one income.

    it will be a big adjustment for him (and you) but he will do just fine. just make sure you have him in a place where he will be with the same caregivers everyday. i think that's really important. my son was in one center for over a year that was GREAT but then we moved. we finally found a place we thought was good but then he would always have different teachers so we had to switch him again so that is hard on him and me.

    good luck! :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • You should be celebrating that he will be in such a wonderful environment surrounded by new friends and new things. By all means you ARE allowed to call every single hour to check and make sure things are going smoothly. This chance for you to miss each other will only strengthen your bond, so think of the positives! :) GOOD LUCK!!
    Aplatel87

    Answer by Aplatel87 at 6:03 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Can you get rid of some expenses so that you can afford to stay home? We got rid of satelite and other nonessentials so it would be easier to stay home. We also chose to go without luxury items and I make our own laundry detergent, soap, deoderant and cleaners as a way to save money. Hubby only bring home around $20,000 a year and we make just fine. We even have money to buy some luxury items. Follow your heart and if you believe in it, pray ask Him for guidiance. Staying at home is working.
    Kristin216

    Answer by Kristin216 at 6:58 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Thanks everyone (((hugs))) I'm still having a rough time with this. Its really really sinking in that i am making less working than i was on unemployment, and not spending $200 weekly on daycare. We'll see how long this lasts before I really just fall apart, haha. Oh well. I really do think he'll be fine. He was alright with my mom for Thursday and Friday, so that's good...Thanks again. At least I know that all of this crying is normal! Lol!
    sweetphoenix529

    Answer by sweetphoenix529 at 4:34 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

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