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9 yr old staying home alone before & after school...

I have a 9 yr old dd. Right now she is in before & after school care, however I am in the process of ending my relationship w/my SO & currenly looking for a house to buy (im excited!) but the problem i keep running into is this. I wont be able to afford before/after school care when I live on my own. She will have to either walk or ride the bus to school & be home by herself before & after school until I get home. In the morning she will be alone for about 1 hour & after school for about 1 & 1/2 hours. Is this too much? I feel like a crappy mom for having to do this, but financially, I literally wont be able to do anything else. Even with state assistance, I'd still have a co-pay of atleast $100/month & I wont be able to afford that. I'ts stressing me out. She is okay with staying at home alone, but I'm not.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Sep. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • And you shouldn't let her. Well, get to know your neighbors and or some people who are from her class whose partents will let your DD stay for a couple hours til' you come home. Whatever the situation you're, you never leave her alone because you never know what will happen on her way home or at home.

    Answer by ocsosomom at 4:40 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • You can get daycare assistnace, through your local DSS, a 9 year old doesn't need to be home alone before and or after school!

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:43 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • My parents let me stay home when I was 8. I was fine. Everyday when I got home from school I had to call my parents and let them know I was home.

    Answer by HaydensMama42 at 4:44 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Check first to make sure its legal in your state (a few states have laws saying teh child has to be 10 before you can leave them at home alone). I know I really loved the time I had when I got home from school before my mother came home. It was a chance to relax and not have an adult tell me what to do. I came home (usually a very slow walk w/ friends) had a snack, watched tv then started homework. I also talked a lot on the phone then. If she is responsible I don't see why it would be an issue to do so.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Right now my 9 yo son has to stay alone for about 45 minutes before the bus comes and almost an hour before I get home from work. In the afternoon, he usually goes to a friends house until I get back but in the morning, I have to trust him to get on the bus by himself. It stops right outside our apt though so he doesn't have to go far.
    Talk to some of her friends parents, ask them if they mind keeping an eye on her until you get home. Since she is older, it wouldn't be a full blown babysitting job for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • In my opinion it isn't an option. What does the law say in your state about a child of that age alone at home? Be creative her alone is not an alternative I advice to any parent, if she was older like 16 or 17 maybe but not 9, i sway too young. That's my opinion.

    Answer by bebita at 4:47 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I think there are alot of questions you have to ask/answer before you can make a decision.

    Is it legal where you live?

    Is you DD responsible?

    Do you live in a safe neighborhood?

    Do you know your neighbors and could you call on them in case of an emergency?

    How far will DD have to walk and what will she have to walk past? Will she have to cross any major streets?

    Can she keep up with her key? (I sewed my DD's key into her back pack with a piece of elastic)

    Will she be able to abide by the rules that keep her safe? (call to let you know she's home, do not answer door when home alone, do not answer phone unless she know's it's you)

    What are your other options?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I would not have done this with my daugher. I don't know yours...

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:02 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • OP

    Well, my only other option is to put her in the Latchkey program at her school. But the price for it is $55 per week. If I were to get dhs assistance for it, I know I would have a co-pay of ATLEAST $100 per month. I can't afford it, I really can't. So what's a mom to do??

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Does she have friends that live close by that she could hang out with until you get home?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

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