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How to start over.....

I am having some issues goin on that i need a lil advice on. Me and my SO have been together for 4 years this december and we have been havin issues for a while. The problems that I have with him started with him disrespecting me, which has been going on since we have been together. I recently lost my mom last year to a long battle with drug addiction and have not had a good relationship with my father since middle school because he also is very disrespectful(tells me im fat, stupid, gonna be a crackhead like my mom). My SO's says things like "thats y u messed up in the head cause your mother didnt raise you right, thats why your daddy doesnt give a damn about you" and his excuse is "im sorry, it was the heat of the moment, I was mad" But it has never stopped. We have had a couple physical altercations, one in April resulting in him going to jail for domestic assault. I have forgiven him, and and we have not had any physical

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I would suggest going to counsiling. It is doing us alot of good and really opening up his eyes to what was going on that apparently just didn't click. Sounds like he needs counsiling to be a better person.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • continued from above) we have not had any physical incidents since then . Some of the fights started with me slappin him because he was calling me a "stupid foster kid"(my parents gave up their rights when i was 16), "dumb slut', had a "crackhead whore mother". He also lost his job in Feb 08', does nothing about getting a job because he gets lazy and watch tv all day and smoke weed. He pays all the bills when working, but any money that comes from anywhere other than a job, he keeps to himself. Cant even buy a $10 pack of pull ups for his daughter. well yesterday, he got to disrespecting me and i told him to leave, but he didnt, so i said i would call the police. he told me "u dumb bitch if u call the police, ill kill you, an I dont care if u pregnant, and im takin everything in this house." right in front of our daughter. I pay all the bills, but all the furniture but the babys is his. what should i do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I think you need to leave him. That doesn't sound like a man who's going to change anytime soon and he's not one you need around your kids.
    flitpixie

    Answer by flitpixie at 6:42 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • if your not married just dump him. you aren't happy with relationship. it's not healthy and you need to be happy. you can't change him and chances are you could try counseling but like most people they go and feel nothing worked and that it didn't help. why waste more yrs with him. if your married you have a sacred duty to try everything. if your vows mean anything. you both have to want change and your so probably thinks nothing is wrong with him or your guys relationship. get your life back and be happy and make everything your children happier.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:46 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • He's mentally and emotionally abusing you. If he's doing it to you, he'll do it to your kids. Make a plan and get out. You need to evaluate your situation and figure out what you need to do so that you can leave.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:26 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I have been in the same situation, kinda still am.... Anyways, sometimes you think that a baby will make him come around, it won't!!!! It isn't worth it not knowing everyday whether the man you love is going to abuse you (physically or emotionally). You have to leave. And, it hurts, you don't know what to do 'cause you love the person so much, and only want to be loved back, but when there's a lack of respect like that, things only go downhill. Move on, find someone who will love you and your children the way you guys deserve.
    Sharde88

    Answer by Sharde88 at 7:36 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

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